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[Application] Kuragari Zanpak <6th Divsion> - BleachAnime.org Forums

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Zanpak
05-28-2008, 04:38 PM
Name:

Kuragaki Zanpak

Age:

Zanpak died at the age of 13. Current age: 50

Appearance:

Zanpak stands 1.85 and is slender has a cigarette on his mouth. His skin is almost white. He has long black hair. He has big red eyes that have a little yellow in the middle. Those eyes make people get scared of him. His hair goes all the way to his back. He doesn't tie them up or do anything.

Personality:

Zanpak always stays calm and never gets angered in any ways.
He has a real bitchy smile that makes people angry. He's always sure of the decisions and moves he makes. He sleeps a lot and loves sake. He generally trains to get the revenge of his clan and get stronger. He doesn't like people so much.

Biography:

Zanpak's family knew about the shinigami when he was alive and trained him in that way believing that the rescuer of his clan would be him.

He was a genius but he was nothing for an adjuchas. The adjuchas wiped the whole Kuragari clan and turned them into hollow. İn the nick of time a shinigami showed up.

But the whole clan was wiped and they were just about to turn Zanpak into a hollow but the shinigami stopped them and made a deal with the shinigami.

Shinigami said ''Come with me and get stronger for revenge of your mother your sister your father.'' From that day Zanpak was accepted in to the academy when he was 7 years old.

Division applying for:

6th Division

Zanpakuto Appearance:

Zanpak's zanpakuto is a shirasaya deep black lacquered finish on scabbard and handle single pegged.

The blade is 27'' the handle is 10 1/2'' overall 38 1/2'' weight 2lbs.

http://www.swordsoftheeast.com/ProductImages/musashi/Musashi_Shirasaya_Black.jpg

Sample Mission:

He practiced hard and he always trained more than the others. But that made him powerful than others.

Zanpak received a mission lately .His mission was to get 5 shinigami and head out to 55th district. The rumors were that there was a curse on that place so it was restricted from Souls and shinigami’s it was protected by a barrier .The place was filled with hollows and all sort of things. But the lately activities wasn't mere hollow activities but something was gathering and trying to break the barrier.

Zanpak, 3 vice captains and 1 captain was sent to the field. The vice captains were really angry of this incident because Zanpak had recently graduated from Shinigami academy and was put on a special mission with captain and vice-captain class.

When the barrier lowered the group was shocked the hollows weren't there but there was an espada. The rumors were that they were vanished from the world after Aizen's plot and never came back. But the number carved in his chest was 5.

The espada slayed 2 vice-captains instantly Zanpak couldn't even see the espada he wasn’t the 5th for nothing. He was too fast. The captain ordered Zanpak to go to 4th division and 11th division and get back-up.

Zanpak refused the order. He begged the captain for a chance to fight the espada but the captain refused and sent a vice-captain to see and call for back-up. The captain said ‘’When we turn back you're kicked out of Soul Society for refusing my orders.’’

Zanpak released his reiatsu and looked to the captain with black flowing reiatsu in his eyes. Zanpak said slowly ''Don't interfere.'' He lighted a cigarette and attacked the espada he was nearly equal when fighting the espada but when the cigarette finished the espada had a serious injury from Zanpak. The wound was deep but Zanpak’s unusual power was gone.

''I was nearly turned to a hollow that night when I died so I have a hollow power too. But that takes a lot of me and I can't use it for much it's the time when my cigarette finishes I can’t control it. If I keep that form after my cigarette finishes... I turn into a hollow.'' Zanpak said. The Captain was shocked.

Just in the nick of time 3 captains entered the barrier and slayed the weakened espada. The other captain in Zanpak's group was stunned. He reported this to the 1st division captain the Commander of Gotei 13. But the chance to use a power seemed useful than destroying it. The captain refused and told this so called demonic powers to everyone. The shinigami that heard that stayed away from him that made him lonely. That wasn't important for him. He was just wanting revenge nothing else.

alannacho
06-05-2008, 02:08 AM
Your sample mission is only 472 words. The minimum is 1000. Also the mission is not very descriptive. It is also hard to follow. You need to build more into the mission.

What did the espada look like? What were its attacks? Did it release its zanpakuto? Answer these questions as well as go more into detail in the mission in general.

It's not a bad start, Zanpak. You may want to go over your application again and add more details to your appearance and personality.

MagicalBells
06-12-2008, 07:20 AM
To follow up with what Lolo said here Zanpak, I noticed that your application doesn't have too much attention to detail, in really any section. Also, your grammar needs a bit of attention. The only punctuation mark I see in your application is a period, and some of your sentences don't make sense the way they are written.

When I read over your Appearance section, it doesn't really flow smoothly, which doesn't paint a good picture of your character. Try to break up your sentences with commas, and also add in a few more details. Remember, the more detail in your character the better, and also the easier it will be to roleplay with him. :) I would suggest adding in some things about muscle definition, weight, any unique clothing, facial features, (Does he have a round face or square) or anything else you can think of.

For your personality, again, try to make it a bit longer. Does he have any hobbies? Anything special about him that only he does that others don't? How does he work with his peers? Is he a smart guy or relatively slow of mind? Things like that, anything to help us get a better idea of your character is perfect.

For your Biography section, it seems like you made it so your character was already a Shinigami before entering the Shinigami Academy. This is not something that happens to everyone. Only a select few can unleash their shinigami powers before developing them at the Academy. Also, you said he entered the Academy at age 7, but died at age 13. Time after death starts from when the character dies, so I'm assuming you meant 7 years after death which would make him 20.

I would also suggest expanding your Zanpakuto to be complete sentence format.