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[Application] Raishin Kimishiro, 13th Division - BleachAnime.org Forums

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Kimishiro
07-21-2008, 08:25 PM
Name: Raishin Kimishiro, male
Age: Kimishiro was 18 when he died of a car accident on his way to high-school. He is now 206 years old but he looks as if he was 21.

Appearance:

Kimishiro has messy, medium to long length, bluish silver hair, which often gets in his eyes because of it's length and style. His silver eyes have a faint blue glow at times, signifying either that Kimishiro is angry, or that he is very happy at that moment. He wears the standard Shinigami uniform consisting of a long black robe, his more tattered than usual, and straw sandals. His robe however is different. The sleeves have been removed, to show Kimishiro's left shoulder tattoo and on the back of his uniform he has his family's crest embroidered in a dark red color. It also has a dark red trimming around the edges instead of the white one a regular shinigami uniform has, and the cloth which he ties around his middle is also dark red.

The tattoo on his left shoulder is actually his family's crest. It has a dark red color, and is represented by a spiral with another curved line starting at the bottom left side and then going down. He carries his zanpakuto at his waist like most of the people who possess a zanpakuto do, although sometimes he is seen holding it in his arm, because he trains very often. He also has a rather large scar that starts just above his left eyebrow, goes down over his left eye and stops just under it. He is 1,80m tall and his body is not slim, but a bit muscular due to the fact that he was part of both the kendo team and the athletics team at his high-school in the days before he died.

Kimishiro's family crest: http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/1300/anbu1tb3.jpg

Personality:
Kimishiro is very distant, and very sarcastic, making sarcastic jokes about his current situation, the situation of his friends, or even his friends, even though he doesn’t have many, because he waits for them to come to him rather than the other way around. He rarely speaks but when he does however, his words make more of an impact than his attacks. He is an expert in the field of persuasion and deception. He likes to try and win a fight verbally, without using his sword at first, but he won't refrain from using it should the situation demand it.

He is also arrogant, not very arrogant but just enough for you to notice, thinking of himself being better than the rest, an aristocrat, because of the way he was raised in Rukongai. It may also be a habit that pursued him against his will from his time with the living. In battle he usually keeps his cool, being very calculative, always trying to get the best result out of the fewest moves. This calmness of his allows him to form his strategies in the middle of a battle, as well as before it. He likes Chinese food, Mexican food, and all fruits except dried persimmons. His favorite animal is the cheetah.

Biography:
Kimishiro was part of the Raishin family. His father was a very successful business man in Japan, thus providing a very good, rich life for Kimishiro. He had everything he could wish for, being enough for him to just say what he wanted and the power of his father’s influence and wealth would bring whatever he wished for to him. Like most rich kids however, he developed a slight arrogant attitude towards those around him, thus leading to a life with not so many friends. Without many friends, Kimishiro’s life was boring, so he joined the kendo and the athletics team. In time he started to get the hang of it, he was actually quite good. He was so good he became the third best in his high-school at kendo and he was the fastest runner in the athletics team.

But all good things must come to an end, as such was Kimishiro’s case. One day as he was walking back home from school, and he was involved in a car accident, which resulted in Kimishiro’s death. He woke up in the 76th district of Rukongai, with nothing but a scar which resulted in the accident. He was immediately adopted into one of the higher families, of the district, so you could say that in Kimishiro’s case, history repeated itself. But this time it was different. This time he would not be the spoiled brat that he was in his time in the living world. Being an upper class family they taught him all about containing his emotions and remaining a gentleman at all times. He eventually enrolled in the Shinigami academy where he joined the 13th Division of the Gotei 13.

Division being applied to: 13th Division - Swift Execution Unit
The 13th Division is very well known for their breakneck speeds in battle. They specialize in the art of hohou. Although they are not incredibly great 1 on 1 fighters, their speed makes up for most of this loss and with that gain the upper edge in combat. The 13th Division works closely with the 6th Division in sweeping the front lines of the enemy quickly and powerfully. As their name implies, the 13th Division's role is to quickly and cleanly slice through enemy lines. They are the main vanguard of the Saishuu Gotei 13 and usually lead the forward charge in strategic warfare.

Zanpakuto appearance:
Kimishiro’s zanpakuto is a regular katana, with a 66 cm long blade, and a 20 cm long hilt. The scabbard is made of ebony, and the hilt is wrapped in black silk of the finest quality, Kimishiro's favorite material, while the guard is made from silver. The blade is rather straight, and has a silvery blue color, and with silver on the blade edge. Kimishiro prefers to use his quickness, using mainly slashes that come directly from unsheathing his sword, combined with a lot of shunpo technique. He prefers to shunpo around an opponent, confusing him, and then attacking him a succession of strikes from his zanpakuto. He would always sheathe his zanpakuto after an attack.
http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/5115/tsns6sb540jq1.jpg

Cyclonus_Zaero
07-21-2008, 08:55 PM
You need to have more in your Zanpakuto area. Pictures aren't necessarily preferred for this area. You've got a lot to describe there. Also another thing you may want to add to your Zanpakuto area his how your Character fights with his Zanpakuto. You may also want to add a little more to your Personality and Physical Appearance areas as well.

-Captain Z

Kimishiro
07-22-2008, 08:27 PM
Sample mission:
It was a hot, sunny day outside, but Kimishiro was stuck in kidou class at the academy. His teacher just kept going on and on about how proper reiatsu control is the way to perfect kidou use. Kimishiro hated this class the most. He just found it boring, to fight using magic tricks instead of technique and speed. Maybe that’s why he was so bad at it, because he didn’t like it. After all, to be good at something you must like it, for example hohou and zanjutsu. Kimishiro loved the sound of clashing metal during a fight, and he loved even more the wind rushing past him as he headed towards his opponent with his sword in hand, ready to slice away, and the results were clear. He was 4th in his class at zanjutsu, he was very fast, but he lacked kidou and hakuda skills.

Finally the theory part was over and the practical part would begin. They were lead to a large field-like area, surrounded by a concrete wall. At one end of the field was the entrance, and at the opposite side were 10 targets, placed at an equal distance from the entrance, about 70m, and each with its own lane. Their first task was to hit the target with a [#31] Shakkaho - Red Flame Cannon kidou spell. Three groups of students, made out of 10 students each, tried their skill, one group after the other. Kimishiro’s turn came, he wasn’t nervous, because he didn’t really care about kidou, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try. He started saying the incantation. As the red flame formed in his hand, he pointed it at his corresponding target and said with a low, calm voice:

“Hadou #31 Shakkaho - Red Flame Cannon!”

But something was wrong. Kimishiro felt the flame go out of control and, out of fear of it blowing up in his face, he fired it randomly in the field. The flame hit a target, just not the right one. It went three lanes to the left and hit the target there, causing laughter among the other students, irritation within Kimishiro.

“Why don’t I give you something easier. Try Hadou #04 Byakurai - White Lightning “ the teacher said to Kimishiro.

As Kimishiro looked at the target again, he recollected his thoughts and concentrated. He pointed his hand forward, with his index finger pointed towards the target and his thumb outwards, and said with the same calm, low voice:

“Hadou #04 Byakurai - White Lightning!”

A stream of white lightning came from Kimishiro’s index finger and went straight in the center of the bullseye. He had no problems with spells of this level, being able even to combine them to make more powerful ones, his problem was with higher level ones.

His next class was his favorite, combat class, it incorporated zanjutsu and hakuda. While hakuda wasn’t exactly what he was looking forward to, a class of combat with his master was a thing that Kimishiro just couldn’t say no to. Every time he fought his teacher he learned something new, even though he mostly fell on his behind, he would gladly fight him again and again, because he considered it an honor. At the end of the day, Kimishiro went to train some more. He always did this before going back to Rukongai, to help his family out. He was very grateful to them, for all the things they taught him and for how much they had helped him, so he only thought it fair to return the favor. He would run errands at the shop they owned, where he used to work during his stay in Rukongai, usually as a courier, delivering orders.

So after he finished with his training he went to the 76th district of Rukongai, at his family’s home, and helped them around the shop, putting things in order on the shelves, cleaning around, and making a few deliveries that had to be made. At the end of the day, they all sat at the table like the big happy family that they were. Kimishiro’s parents were very proud of his decision to become a shinigami and wouldn’t stop bragging to their neighbors about it. He slept there that night, in his old room, which remained the way it was the day he left to enter the academy.

Morning came, with birds chirping outside, and the sound of people’s voices. Some were greeting each other and some were haggling over prices. Kimishiro woke up with a big yawn, stretching his arms. After washing his face he went down and had breakfast with his family and afterwards he said his goodbyes as he left for the academy. Tomorrow was his graduation day, so he was fairly excited. He just wanted this day to pass quicker so he could be over and start his days as a true shinigami. But between then and now there was a whole day and Kimishiro knew he could not go around it. He reached the academy and eagerly headed to his combat class. As usual each new fight with his teacher was whole new experience in which he learned a great many things. Even his Kidou class seemed less boring today, because he knew that tomorrow was his last day.

He didn’t train at the end of this day, being rather tired for some reason. So he went straight to his room and started reading a book. It was one of the things he did when he had finished with his training after class. He couldn’t read it right, not being able to concentrate because his roommate snored in a way not humanly possible, so he decided to stop reading and go to sleep. He was tired anyway and tomorrow was a big day for him, so he had to be well rested. He closed his book and lay his head down. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, even with all the snoring coming from his roommate. Tomorrow, the true adventure would begin…
----------
I don't know why but when I tried to post the whole thing it said that I exceeded the number of characters allowed so I posted the sample mission separately. I'm sorry but I didn't have a choice.

Anyway I edited the whole application. I hope it's good now and thanks for the advice 12 Division Captain-sama.

alannacho
07-23-2008, 04:45 AM
Your application is good but still requires a little work. First off, try to start a new paragraph when your focus changes. This helps keep the application smooth when reading and keeps your thought together. For example, let's take your personality section. This is how you posted it.

Kimishiro is very distant, and very sarcastic, making sarcastic jokes about his current situation, the situation of his friends, or even his friends, even though he doesn’t have many, because he waits for them to come to him rather than the other way around. He rarely speaks but when he does however, his words make more of an impact than his attacks. He is an expert in the field of persuasion and deception. He likes to try and win a fight verbally, without using his sword at first, but he won't refrain from using it should the situation demand it. He is also arrogant, not very arrogant but just enough for you to notice, thinking of himself being better than the rest, an aristocrat, because of the way he was raised in Rukongai. It may also be a habit that pursued him against his will from his time with the living. In battle he usually keeps his cool, being very calculative, always trying to get the best result out of the fewest moves. This calmness of his allows him to form his strategies in the middle of a battle, as well as before it. He likes Chinese food, Mexican food, and all fruits except dried persimmons. His favorite animal is the cheetah.

Now read it in this form.
Kimishiro is very distant, and very sarcastic, making sarcastic jokes about his current situation, the situation of his friends, or even his friends, even though he doesn’t have many, because he waits for them to come to him rather than the other way around. He rarely speaks, but when he does however, his words make more of an impact than his attacks. He is an expert in the field of persuasion and deception. He likes to try and win a fight verbally, without using his sword at first, but he won't refrain from using it should the situation demand it.

Kimishiro is also arrogant, not very arrogant but just enough for you to notice, thinking of himself being better than the rest, an aristocrat, because of the way he was raised in Rukongai. It may also be a habit that pursued him against his will from his time with the living. In battle he usually keeps his cool, being very calculative, always trying to get the best result out of the fewest moves. This calmness of his allows him to form his strategies in the middle of a battle, as well as before it. He likes Chinese food, Mexican food, and all fruits except dried persimmons. His favorite animal is the cheetah.

With the mission, the same applies. A new paragraph can be started every 4 to 6 sentences depending on the context of the paragraph. Typing this up in a word processing program will also allow you to use the tools to check for spelling and grammar.

Kimishiro
07-23-2008, 08:07 AM
Hope it's better now :). Btw i really appreciate the advice you guys give. It's really helpful. Thx.