[Application]Zukitakata Jishikatote <2nd division>

[Lynx13]

Name: Zukitakata Jishikatoteb (Zuki)

Gender: male

Age: At death 26 and 93 at SS.
Appearance: Zuki is 6'3 tall, weighs about 88kg. Zuki is Caucasian have long black curly hair. He puts a white think band on his hair to pull it backward. Zuki have a scar on his left cheek, made him looks a bit creepy. He has a small black goatee on his palate. He is a bit burly and not too much puffy. He prefers to wear sleeveless cloths. Face expression always looks like normal even when he gets angry, confused, shocked…etc. His eyes are Black and big and his eyelash are thick.

Personality: Zuki takes everything in simple ways makes him looks like unworried and careless when there is a problem. When something seriously occurs, he became more quiet and more seriously. Zuki also don't like to mix up with lot of people and always speaks less. He also, is weak in speeches and easy to be beaten by a mind word battles or confrontation. He can be trustworthy and loyal during missions and he can dedicate his own life for that mission if it is serving an unquestionable case. Yet, he is a bit stubborn whenever he doubts in his superior orders and can totally go against it. Zuki likes natural places and wilderness and he likes to be there whenever he is at affliction.

Biography: In real life, Zuki was co-coach for a well known boxer name Kuzaki. Kuzaki had made 12 wining in row. Zuki had all admire to his boxer and became his idol eventually. In one night, after a match, Zuki were headed to the exit door from back stage. He saw a bunch of men through the door knob hole was beating Kuzaki and pointing guns at the same times. Zuki knew those guys were from the mafia. They were blaming Kuzaki for not losing the fixed match and claimed that their boss had lost a big amount of money. Before they attempted to shot Kuzaki, Zuki pushed the door hardly and the mafia had shot him he struggled a bit before he eventually died.

At SS, Zuki wondered around seritari learning and practicing in order to gain enough powers to join the Academy in order to protect people who need help from the tyrants and criminals.

Division applying to: 2nd division

Zanpaktou Appearance: The unreleased Zanpaktou form is a Bamboo Katana. The case and the handle of the bamboo Katana are both wood coated unpainted. Overall length 99.7 cm, blade length: 69.2cm, handle length: 28.6cm and blade thickness 0.67 cm. Bamboo Katana has no hilt made it look like a wooden stick or like cane when it is unsheathed.

[Lynx13]

Sample Chapter: Before joining the academy, Zuki were roaming around the Seriteri exploring life there. He saw different people lived in different lives color. People who live to earn respect, people who lived to earn lost memories, people who lived to earn powers to join the academy and people who terrorize others to earn authorities within Seriteri. Zuki realized living there is just the same as where he lived back in the living world. Zuki then decided to isolate himself from others and not to be a part of their world. So, he took himself and wondered again into the wilds hunting and fishing to earn his nutriment in daylight. At night, he just works out and made a few punches on the tree branch as habit of his own. After that, he lies down at the hill staring at the shooting stars before he eventually went to sleep.

One day while he was fishing, he heard a sound coming behind the bushes. Zuki made himself as he never notice that. He collects his fishes and stores it in basket next to bushes. Zuki also noticed that the amounts of fishes were decreasing.

"That is a day" Said Zuki and heads toward the bushes and said "Now why don't you show yourself"

A young female kid wearing a dirty and messy dark blue kimono in stripes pattern.

"You are hungry aren't you?" Zuki said to the little kid. "Beside, Eating those fishes rear might hurt your stomach, Right?" Zuki said to the little kid while he was smiling."Let's make a fire and eat those" said Zuki.

The kid nods her head and smiled "Sure".

During dinner, Zuki and the kid had all those fishes in dinner. The kid gobbles fish by fish eating them with excessive desire.

"Slow down kid. You gonna get one of these fish thorns in your throat" said Zuki. "By the way kid, what is your name?" Zuki asked the kid.

The kid mumbles "Kieko"

Zuki smiles and replied "Keiko as the blessed child. I am Zukitakatai. You can call me Zuki". "Where are you from Kieko?" Zuki asked Kieko

Kieko answered "From here and there".

"You don't have any parents or older brothers?" Zuki asked another question.

Kieko got angry and mad, and then she shouts on Zuki's face "NO" she stood up "It is none of your Business either" and starts to cry.

Zuki stands up as well and approached to Kieko and said "It is okay. You don't have to get angry" and then he holds her with his arms.

While Kieko was crying on Zuki's shoulders, she calmed down "I missed them" she said to Zuki.

"Don't worry. We’ll go and look for them tomorrow" He said to Kieko.

"They were...Killed" said Kieko while still crying on Zuki's shoulders.

Zuki were shocked and decided not to bring the subject anymore in front of Kieko. In order to cheer her up, he wiped her tears and then he smiled and Said "Hey hey. How about I teach you how to fish?"

She nods her head and said "Yes"

They lived together for some time sharing joys and laughter.

In one day, Kieko went to sleep while Zuki went to that tree branch and started to hit a few punches before he sleep. Kieko had some difficulty sleeping, so she snooped behind Zuki and watched him training.

Then she asked him "Why are you training?"

Zuki turned into Kieko mumbled before he answers"...Just... for fun".

Keiko said "My dad told me once; If I am seeking for powers, I have to use it for its good. How can you mix fun with power?"

He smiled and said "What you've father said is true. Maybe I am training just to protect people like you"

Kieko had wide smile and then asked "Really? Are you gonna protect me?”

Zuki Smiled and said "Yes. Of course I'll do"

Kieko became happy and enthused "I shall go to sleep now and leave you with your training" she said.

During Zuki training, he heard Kieko's screaming back were they sleeping near the cliff. He immediately ran like hell catch up poor Kieko. When he reached there, he saw three guys with Bamboo katana are surrounding Kieko before the cliff’s edge. And before they got a hand on her, Zuki got one of them from behind and strikes him with powerful punch on his face letting him drop his Bamboo Katana and lose his conscious. The other two guys noticed him and drew their Bamboo Katana on him. He grabs the falling Bamboo Katana and draws it as well. The other two assassins started dashing fast toward Zuki’s direction and swing their sword in the Zuki's face. Zuki hardly blocked the first attack but he got kicked in the stomach by the other one. Zuki stumbled on the floor now and lied down on his back, while the first guy flew with his Bamboo Katana in the air and dived toward Zuki to stab him. Zuki crawled into the left and succeeded in avoiding the hit. He rose instantly from the ground and faced the second guy and knocked him by a hit from the Bamboo Katana’s handle .Then Zuki turned his face to the other one and kicked him with back kick on the chest. This kick was enough to knock him down next the first one. He turned back to make sure Kieko was safe but, he found weird looking guy behind Kieko holding her and aiming his Zanpaktou at her nick and with his four comrades surrounding Kieko as well.

"Stop” Zuki yelled at the Guy.” What are you willing to do?"

"What do you think? Spares the kid’s life" Said the guy who is holding Kieko.

"Why are you doing this? My dad was very generous with you. How did you betray him Sadao?" Kieko said to the guy.

Sadao looked at Zuki "While you are sane, why don't you disappear from here and save your own life".

Zuki sighs in ironic way "My life? She is a part of my life" Zuki added.

"At least don't say that I haven't warned you." Said Sadao and then he shouts at his comrades "ATTACK HIM"


suddenly, and from nowhere, Zuki felt a strange power coming from the Bamboo Katana that he holds in his left hand and the power was moving across his right arm. His retisu was raised while the four assassins were coming toward him, and then, he fired an aura on them within the punch made them all fall off the cliff.


Sadao raised his other free hand to protect his eyes from the aura lights "Your hero has some powers he doesn’t know about" Sadao told Kieko. Then Sadao perform Bakudo prism light on Kieko paralyzing her so that she can't run away. He turns his face to Zuki and pointed at him "You are not going to ruin it" Sadao changed his voice tone into a heavy one, and said to Zuki "Prepare to die"

Sadao Shunpos which is was a sudden move to Zuki and appeared behind him. "Look out!" said Kieko to Zuki.

Zuki turned back and dodged late before he received a slash from Sadao’s Zanpaktou cutting Zuki's left cheek. Sadao attacked again with his Zanpaktou and with his kicks consistently. Zuki was blocking those attack hardly before eventuality received a kick from Sadao made him fall into the ground and numbed him. Zuki were motionless.

Sadao aims his Zanpaktou at Zuki's face. "You got some skills”. Sadao stopped talking for a bit, and then continuous “You don't have to be a part of her life." He looked at Kieko while still aiming his sword at Zuki "Her father was my boss. He hires us to protect people and nobles from any threats. While he is sitting in his house drinking his tea, we endanger ourselves for those people. He is doing nothing while we do all the work. Basically, I am powerful than him. Why he have to give us orders while we can do it without him?"

"Because he knew how to use your own powers." Said Kieko

Sadao unreleased the Bakudo from Kieko and cast it on Zuki letting him to struggles and trying to unleash or break the spell, while Sadao walked slowly toward little Kieko.

"DON'T COME NEAR HER" Yelled Zuki. "Why you want to kill her? She is just a little kid" added Zuki.

Sadao raised his Zanpaktou on the sky and is about to swing her with his Zanpaktou "Because I hate the old man and everything he loves and it must be vanished while I am still here"

Zuki’s heart beats faster as he saw everything at slow motions and before the swing reached Kieko, he closed his eyes and shouts "NO".

Sadao slashes little Kieko through her chest made her fall in the ground and bleeds. Zuki were stunted by the scene while his eyes filled with tears. Zuki Looks at her passing away and staring at her eyes as if she were looking at him in return. He broke down through these emotions, so he explodes in tears and cries. Then he tries to release from the Bakudo but he couldn't. Sadao walked slowly to Zuki and he raised his head with his hand.

"It is a perfect ending. It is just as I wished. Now I can sleep" Said Sadao.

"Will you sleep after spelling an incontinent blood? Will you be able to live in the shadows?" Said Zuki while he still crying. “Will you see her face in your dreams?” shots while crying too.

Sadao sighs "Time to put you out of your misery you too”.

Zuki's retisu raised and a powerful aura starts to come out from his Bamboo Katana. This aura was enough to breaks the spell and pushes Sadao a few steps back. Zuki stood up finally, looked at Sadao and dashes toward him. Zuki changed into berserk from the anger that Sadao made to him. He strikes Sadao with his Bamboo many swings, one after another. Sadao countered Zuki with an attack by one of Sadao Zanpaktou skill without realizing he was leaving an opening to Zuki. Zuki dodged and got a hit from Sadao’s Zanpaktou cutting his arm but he was able to reach Sadao’s opening and stabbed his sword in his heart.

"It can be? How did you?" said Sadao as he felt down on his knees and then falls completely into the ground and dies after he suffered from his injury.

Zuki rushed fast to Kieko as she were about to speak her last breaths. He holds her head from behind by his right hand and holds her body by the other arm.

"Arigato" She whispered her last breaths.

Zuki lived in pain for losing Kieko before he decided to join the academy in order to help those who are clueless to any danger it might follow them.

[alannacho]

Hello and welcome to BARPG, Zuki.

First off, please expand the personality, appearance, and zanpakuto areas. More details in each area will help in painting a better picture of Zuki.

There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors within your application and sample mission. I noticed several incomplete sentences. A sentence should have a noun and a verb. In regards to your mission, it is not necessary to start a new paragraph with each sentence of dialogue if it belongs to a single person. You need to do this when the dialogue shifts from one person to another.

For example:

"That is a day" Said Zuki

Zuki heads toward the bushes and said "Now why don't show yourself"


The above sample can be made into one paragraph as shown below.

"That is a day," Said Zuki. Zuki heads toward the bushes and said, "Now, why don't show yourself?"

Notice that I also corrected for punctuation errors. I suggest this to everyone, and I will also suggest it to you. Use a word processing program such as Microsoft Word or Open Office to type up your application. You can use the tools provided in the program to check for spelling, grammar, and more. Also find a 3rd party outside of BARPG to read and critique your work. This will assist you in making it the best it can be.

One final thing, don't shorten words with abbreviations as you did with bamboo katana. B.katana is not an approved way of stating the item. You may use a different word to convey the item, such as sword or blade.

I hope this helps.

[Lynx13]

Okay I made the edits. Hope it is good.

[Cyclonus_Zaero]

Physical Appearance needs some more to it; how's the sword worn?
Personality needs a little more; how does he feel about hollows?
Biography needs a bit more as well; you got 93 years, pick an event and go with it.
Zanpakuto needs some more; what kinda of stance does he use when he fights?
Sample mission is great!