Cheap Computer Parts | WoW Gold | Cheap Plane Tickets | Credit Consolidation | Wordpress Themes
[Application] Masurao Susamajii <2nd Division> - BleachAnime.org Forums

PDA

View Full Version : [Application] Masurao Susamajii <2nd Division>


Masurao
10-25-2008, 06:59 PM
Name: Majsurao Susamajii (Masurao).

Gender: Male.

Age: Died at 16. He is 36 in Soul Society, though he has the appearance of an adolescent.

Appearance: Masurao is 71 inches tall and weighs about 140 lbs. He is a tall, handsome man, with short spiky black hair. His eyebrows are small and black. His nose is slightly long and pointy. His mouth is always shut tight, except when he's talking. He has quite small ears, pratially hidden under his hair and his hat. He usually looks a bit nonchalant.
He is often seen wearing a black suit with red tie and stovepipe hat under his Shinigami uniform. He has cut away the sleeves of his uniform, because he believes it is important to wear a suit so everybody can see it. His black trousers coem out from under his uniform, and he's always wearing his shiny black shoes. Whenever he gets serious, his nonchalant look changes into a stern look. When a man threatens a woman, his face changes into a degrading look.
He wears his Zanpakuto on his side.

Personality: Masurao was raised in a noble family. He was taught etiquette, polite speech and gentlemanly behavior. He looks down on men with lack of etiquette, inpolite speech and lack of gentlemanly behavior. When a man threatens a woman or treats he badly, Masurao feels that man most be punished above all else. He feels that man has no rights anymore, and that it is his job, as a gentleman, to punish him.
He takes pride in his gentlemanly behavior. He is usually very serious, but can sometimes be funny and in for a joke. When he's drunk, he keeps his gentlemanly behavior, but his sense of humour improves. For some reason, he is also very good at dodging everything when he's had a few drinks.
He is slightly lazy and nonchalant, but when it comes down to rescueing females, he's always up and runnign and full of energy. Nothing can stop him from protectign females, he will keep on fighting, until he's dead. Masurao is quite likable, but rather unsociable, leaving him with few friends. He has earned the respect of many females with his behaviour, and the rivalry of many men.

Biography: Masurao was raised in a noble family. He was not permitted to leave the manor until he turned 16 in 1857, because the Susamajii family's tradition was to give their 16-year-olds the choice to live in the outside world if they could survive a year. He was taught the ways of the gentleman by Kibishii Kyouyu, hired by his parents to raise him, because of their lack of time. Soon after being "released" into the outside world, he was stabbed by a Hollow when he was protecting a woman from being robbed by a thief. He could not see the Hollow, only the heat waves. In Soul Society, he was raised in another wealthy family in the Rukongai. He liked to teach children from poorer regions about etiquette and gentlemanly behavior. When he joined the Shinigami Academy at the age of 21, he graduated easily by paying attention and doing his best. He vowed to be a gentleman, and help women in need, to protect them, and keep them from harm.

Applying to: 2nd Division

Zanpakuto Appearance: Masurao's Zanpakuto's overall length is 88,6 cm's long. The hilt is 18,2 cm's long, and the blade is 70,4 cm's long. The case is painted black and decorated with red triangles painted on it. The hilt is also black, but has a red ring on the beginning and the end of the hilt. Masurao prefers to fight using Kidou, which is his speciality. He also uses Zanjetsu, he can use his Zanpakuto for many techniques. By using his knowledge of Kidou he attack his opponents or petrifies them, then finishes them off with his Zanjetsu skills.

blankdoor
10-27-2008, 02:37 AM
Hey Masurao, I would like to thank you for expressing an interest in BARPG, but know I must get on to more pressing matters.

The first reason your application was declined was that, firstly no one had critiqued you application, at least one person must have critiqued your application before you apply for a final app.

Secondly,



Age: Died at 16. He is 21 in Soul Society.



we have recommend a minimum of at least 10 year gap between your death in life and your age in soul society.

Appearance / Personality:

Well I personally think these sections are a little to small, I am rather happy with your biography, but I would like you to expand on these two as they are major factors in BARPG.

Zanpakuto Appearance:

All I can say here is that I would like to see how you character fights, does he prefer kidou, or maybe fist fighting (Hakuda).

Sample mission:

I am quite pleased with this sample mission, but the one problem I have noticed is the lack of paragraphing, this makes your sample mission hard to read and to look rather unprofessional.

If you change these few errors I will re-read your application and make another judgement then.

-blankdoor

Masurao
10-27-2008, 09:33 PM
Sample Mission:
Masurao Susamajii was a bit of a strange one. He was but 16 years old when he died in the real world. Masurao was raised in a Noble family in Japan. He knew etiquette, polite speech, and most of all, gentlemanly behavior. He had a strict upbringing, he was not raised by his parents, who were far too busy for him, but rather by a man hired especially for the "job" to raise him. Kibishii Kyouyu was a strict man, around his 50's, always in suit and wielding a small stick, for beating. Poor Masurao was taught to behave the cruel way, the Kibishii way.

However hard his childhood was, Masurao was always optimistic, that was just the young boy he was. At night, when he lay in bed, reading, he always dreamt of better times. You see, it was the Susamajii family's tradition that when a son reaches the age of 16, he is allowed to live in the outside world for one year, much like the Amish. If he could find a life there, he was permitted to stay, at the price of never returning to the Susamajii family. He dreamt that he'd find work there, and that he could find a life without rules, where he could be free to be who he thought he was, not who he was taught to be.

He reached the age of 16 on the fateful day of the 9th of May 1857. That day, he saw his parents for the 20th time in his entire life. They would only see him on his birthday, where they would dine in an atmosphere most awkward. The other four times were coincidental, and of course at childbirth. As Masurao got dressed to dine, he looked in the mirror. He saw himself, of course. His short black hair, his long face, big red eyes, and the suit he was wearing. He liked to dress in a black suit with a red tie. Also, he was a fan of stovepipe hats. He straightened his tie, and walked out of his room, where he was accompanied by his teacher Kibishii, for one last time.

There was one of those awkward silences between the two. As much as their relationship should indicate a certain hate for one another, the two were together like a father and son, and at this time, the last time they would meet, Masurao couldn't help but feel slightly sad that his mentor would be absent for the rest of his life. Kibishii's short white hair always smelt of chicken for some reason, and as young Masurao reached the large door to the dining room, he could not help but take a huge sniff, as if to save the smell so he could smell it again later.

The two stayed silent, and as Masurao walked through the door and turned around, he saw Kibishii wipe away a tear and bow slightly. He returned the gesture. The door shut and the young boy sat down at a table where he wouldn't stand up from again for another 2 awkward hours.

***

Masurao walked through the city of Kyoto. He hadn't had a lot of time to digest everything outside of the manor. There were houses, carriages pulled by horses, everything. Sure, Kibishii had taught him things of the real world before he was "released", but to see it all, after sixteen years of ignorance, was a huge shock to the teenager. As he crossed the street along with some other men in suit, looking hasty, he took another glance at his environment. Little did he know that the most fascinating fascination was yet to come.

Before he could walk further into the city, he saw a something to his left. A small cat walked into an alley next to the house he was facing. Masurao used to have a pet cat at the manor called Denkou, a thin black cat. This cat had a small resemblance to Denkou, and as the youngster felt slightly nostalgic, he followed it. In the alleyway he saw there was a little commotion. A man was standing over a young lady, wielding a knife. The lady was holding a purse. Masurao stood by from a distance, they didn't seem to see him. "Give me the bag, woman! I saw you take a nice sum of money from home, and I need it more than you do." the man said, holding the knife close to her neck. The lady didn't seem hesitant, and held her purse high, so the man could take it.

But as Masurao saw this little display of violence, something inside him switched. The gentleman inside him awoke. The gentleman he thought he was taught to be by Kibishii. He walked towards the man with the knife. "Put that away." he said calmly. "What's this then?" the man said, looking at Masurao. "You fancy yourself a hero?" The lady looked at Masurao with a face of thankfulness, mixed with fear. As though she was thankful for his interference, but would rather have him go away, so he wouldn't get hurt. But it was too late. "People like you make me sick." Masurao said, facing the man. "You wield knives of steel to cut the flesh of the innocent for your own gain. You have no respect. You have no etiquette, you are no man." Somehow Masurao stayed calm through all of this, as though taken over by the gentleman inside. The thief looked at him as though Masurao was speaking a foreign language, but suddenly, his face changed to a slight fear, and the man ran away.

Masurao did not understand this sudden change, but then he felt an aching pain in his stomach. He had been stabbed. The blood surged out of his suit and onto the ground. He fell to his knees and turned around to see what happened. The man had long gone, and the woman ran away now too, crying and screaming.

At first, Masurao thought he was stabbed by the man's knife, but as he looked down, there was no sign of a knife. All he could see was a vague horn, penetrating his stomach. The horn was almost invisible, like the heat waves on a sunny day. Masurao turned around again to see where the horn came from, only to see a vast form of heat waves. He faced the other way again, and lowered his head, he had not the strength to keep it up. He died a gentleman's death.

***

In Soul Society, Masurao was adopted into a wealthy family, to his dismay much like his family in the real world. He lived in one of the wealthiest regions of the Rukongai. He loved to spend his days listening to bards, and teaching young children in poorer regions about etiquette.

He dreamt of becoming a Shinigami. He had his reasons, as did everyone with dreams of being a Shinigami. Masurao wanted nothing more than to have the strength to protect women. Not to woo them, but because of his nature. He was a gentleman, it was in his blood. He was taught to do so, and it gave him joy, he felt it was his purpose in the world.

He joined the academy at the age of 36. He got through the Academy rather easily, studying hard and paying close attention. He didn't have many friends, but he always stood up for the young females who were bullied, as a true gentleman would. He wears his suit under his Shinigami uniform, including his blood-red tie. He has also still wears his stovepipe hat. His mission had begun, his goal in life. He would grow stronger to protect. To teach the world the importance of etiquette and gentlemanly behavior. Masurao Susamajii, fierce gentleman, had begun his life as a Shinigami.

----------
Hey!

Thanks very much for reviewing my application! :)
I'm sorry, it seems I didn't quite understand the rules, I didn't know I had to be critiqued before I could finalize my application.

Anyway:
1. I've edited my application with more information.
2. I've posted the Sample Mission (also edited) as a new post, because it didn't fit. :)
3. I've posted my fighting preferences.

I'm glad you liked my Biography and Sample Mission! I hope this edit makes my application good enough to let me join the BARPG! :)

Regards,
~Masurao