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Vincente
11-06-2008, 08:24 PM
Name:
Vincente Silvario

Gender:
Male

Age:
35 - Death in human world
85 - Starting of training in Soul Society

Appearance:
Vincente is about 5.9ft tall and has blonde long lenght hair which flows down his back. When the wind blows this hair is always blown about due to its thiness. He has a thin body and he has blue eyes and quite long arms and legs which help for quicker movements due to momentum. He keeps his hair well kept and keeps himself clean.Over the years he has shown that he doesn't like getting his clothes dirty.

Vincente Always has his zanpakuto hanging at his right side in the same place. He wears a standard shinigami uniform which the sleeves are longer than his arms he often has his top done up not revealing anything but his neck, but sometimes has it loose.


Personality:

Overall
Vincente is a fairly calm and relaxed person,and tries to do everything asked off him, he believes strongly in loyalty and will not let it slip, he hates arrogant people and will do his best to shut up anyone who gets to arrogant. He also believes strongly in freindship and will help his friends when he needs it. He sometimes gets angry at people who are nasty to his captain or underestimate him, and will do whatever he can to stop them.He doesn't like fighting but if he has to he will, he also is very weak to women and blushes even at them looking at him.

He likes to relax alot and chill out, he doesn't like being messed around with however he will stay calm in most situations. He does like to be around others however. No matter what the situation Vincente has proven he is not one to easily become angered, this is proven by his time in soul society academy, he simply slain all hollow of which opposed him, his anger is never triggered, he has no anger, and he shall never have it. As such he is a caring and loving person.
Vincente likes to lean back, and ponder upon the meaning of life, and the many questions you start to ask yourself when you have been alive for over a dozen of decades. From time to time, these moments of thoughtfulness can give birth to a song or two, being the musical lover that he is.
Thats right. Vincente is not just a pretty head with a large brain. He can also fight. While some shinigami choose to specialize in one skill and turn it into their trademark, He is neither lacking in close quarter combat, nor in ranged battles. If there is one thing he is skilled at more than others, it would be to sense spiritual pressure. While Vincente will try to avoid a fight and settle for a peaceful solution, should the opportunity arise, he is not afraid to draw his blade and fight for what he believes in. Vincente has always been a trustworthy companion. He does not make of his friends opinions or viewpoints. He is honest, and he seldom lies, unless he believes that its of the utmost necessity and no matter how busy he is, and no even if it goes not benefit him, he always have time to give his friends a helping hand if they need it.


Biography

Human life

Vincente born in 1915 into a low life family in Spain. His parents brought him up bad and he only got the scraps of the clothes his older brother had grown out off. His brother was born in better condition and didn't whine as much as Vincente did. Not being able to survive that good Vincente didnt grow any good muscles and started to become thin, without good clothing and food he grew up bad, his bones were weak and he couldn't do alot due to this. His parents couldn't afford schooling so schooling was quite impossible so he didn't grow to be intelligent either, Although his brother was allowed to go due to him being older. when he was 5 his mother died of a illness he had caught first and somehow survived, passing it on to his mother.

Adult life and death

Joining the Spanish Air force he went through basic training very well getting top score in all of the test and doing well in the written exam. He was finally ordered to lead a 6 fighter squad to take out a small wave of 3 bombers aiming to take out a small village which was making massive amounts of money. His squad took no casualties and he turned to return home. He shouldn't of been so stupid to think only 3 bombers were to take out a very weathly village and over the horizon came over 200 bombers which were escorted by about 460 fighters. The main force of Germany were coming to take out the village and carry on to the capital, all with enough force to come back alive with minimal casualties. Escaping home the news was broadcast and the fighters from around Spain were send to defend this village with heavy casualties both sides Vincente managed to stay alive with a broken arm, which he obtained from an explosion both sides of him sending a piece of metal through the side into his arm, he landed successfully and was given a medal for his duty. He now for the first time in his life, felt special.

On his second mission he was to lead a whole division to defend Europe. With many fighters from around Europe a massive battle commenced once again he came out undamaged and he landed his fighter back into England where he once again gained a medal, at this time most of his freinds were killed in many different battles.

At 27 he was ordered to return back to Spain with his division, flying back he met with more German fighter ships and was the only one shot down due to his broken arm breaking because of his broken bone from his first mission created a weak point which wasn't reinforced. Going down into water he bearly survived and made it back to land. he stayed there for many years trying to remember who he was, it was at this point his uncle had returned and had reminded him of who he was and his history. He also learned of the younger brother he had which his mother also abandoned and they quickly became friends, they started to do shooting together and other sports becoming a great team. He was also promoted to join the Air force, with both of them side by side they fought many battles and learned many skills an earned many badges. Now was the return trip to Spain which was first unsuccessful, unlike the first one he actually got back without interference and married a lovely Spanish women.

Fighting against another division he was shortly shot down in a training mission. Ending up in Soul society. his death was noble going up in a huge flame and nearly taking out his wingmen due to a oil leak. From here he went onto becoming a Hollow of which he remained for many years. Long after Aizen had gone. About 1400 years from the main story line he was slain and emerged as a Spirit in Seireitei.


Shinigami.

When he arrived in soul society he was in one of the more calmer areas and he grew up with a family not being very rich, but still rich enough he liked the ways he was treated and bore good clothes. Opposite to what he had in his human life. his life in rukongai went well and he grew with many people showing them what he had achieved in life. As he got older his friends started to disappear and join the academy. Most of them got out before he thought about joining and so he set off with a long walk ahead of him and he respectfully bowed to every shinigami he saw which suprised them however but he didn't want to make himself stupid, so he skipped the weird looking ones.

Vincente entered the Academy for Shinigami and became quite useful within his own fighting style and kidou. Vincente majored in tactics and uses less brute force and relies on his brain. Now a Shinigami, Vincente majored alone, appearing invisible to the rest of the academy except for many who stepped in his way. He kept a strong profile with everyone of his freinds, often meeting with them when classes were over. Still, he stood out like a sore thumb. When he was finally done, he was allowed in the Thirteenth.


Division applying to:
13th division

Zanpakuto appearance:
Vincente's Zanpakuto is a blue hilted sword with a white sheath. the blade itself is about 100cm and very silver, It seems to be well kept and always sharp. This could be due to the amount of times he actually needs to use it or he is very fussy about the edge that he is going to battle with. The guard is in the shape of 3 wings which come out at traingular angles the wings and not very long and they all curl clockwise and the tip of the wings nearly touch the other stem of the next wing, he wears this zanpakuto at his side.


Fighting Style
His fighting styles is unique, he tends to hold his blade at his side and although he appears to be unsuited to Kendo he can still use it. His Zanjutsu is quite good and he is able to pull quick and precise moves on anyone who wishes to come towards him and have ago at him. His Shunpo skills go well with this and he tends to use it alot. Making precise movements like Shunpo'ing behind and then infront making 2 quick attacks to confuse the enemy at each point and then appear above to release a quick kido blast. Which brings us to his Kido skills. although they are not as good as his Zanjutsu and his Shunpo his attacks are still fairly powerful.

blankdoor
11-09-2008, 11:01 PM
Well I have to say I am pretty amazed by your application, but there are a few things wrong (also do not take this as a final critique as I need to see the rest of your sample mission).

Firstly your Biography has one flaw that is rather massive and that is stating you have been a member of a division previously, but don’t worry the human part of your biography is great.

Finally your sample mission, so far, has only one problem and it is this:

" SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

Here you have unnecessary capitalisation of words, please correct this, as the exclamation mark clearly emphasizes what tone the text takes.

Please change what has been stated and I will re-review after your sample mission has been completed

Vincente
11-10-2008, 08:13 PM
The first day of becoming a shinigami, he was to start training on the move, shunpo,he was fascinated by its speed and the way it worked, he even prayed he'd some day be able to fight using his shunpo as a advantage, his zanpakuto aided him as he stood there looking at his teacher, without his zanpakuto he wouldn’t feel happy and probably deprived of the basic need of it, and the fascination.

he finally got the courage to walk to his seat and bow to the master, in which many of his students laughed, causing him to go red, he was sat next to this wonderful looking shinigami, who's long blonde hair reached her shoulders, but frightfully not as long as his, but looking around he wasn’t the only one, after a few minutes he was told to stand up, he stood up looking at the master who was behind him before he had a chance to notice, the master suddenly grabbed him and stuck him against a wall, the girl looked slightly shocked and then look down, the master was her father and he didn’t want her with some guy like vincente who wasn’t from the loyal, just as she did.

" M..master...y..you.." he said coughing as his throat started throbbing.

" shut up and listen ! " he shouted back as he let go of vincente who slid down the wall and went to grab his sword, but was hit by a high pressure forcing him to his knees, he then let go and was released from the terrible pressure, going back to the seat he sat down, only slightly glancing at the girl who sat opposite of him, a sudden reatsu fell on his shoulders as he turned quickly as the master was behind him again, slapping him around the back of the head

" pay attention" he shouted before vincente even had a chance to say anything,vincente suddenly got the point and shut up, and listened to the best of his ability.

At the leaving bell he was dismissed and the girl smiled at him as he went passed, she was in his class in all lessons and they slowly became freinds, although in one of the last days of the week she disappeared, it was said she was send on a mission with a few others and died in a freak accident, the truth was that she had moved to one of the squads.

In the last day of the week he stood there in the swords training with his bokken in hand, as his zanpakuto was hung up not far away, he couldn’t keep his mind off it losing 4/5 matches he was put for his last match, he decided he couldn’t lose this one and focused his will into his bokken and made his reatsu form a sword in his mind, running forward he stuck down upon his enemy shocking the ground underneath him, swinging it back around himself he hit the enemies bokken once more, he started to do a sequence of moves which were quick and were kept being stopped by the sweating enemy, he looked at him, he had long green hair, which was unusual, but regardless he went to hit him again, after 5 minutes of severe bashings, they deadlocked, pushing as hard as he could he was still being pushed back , but then he remembered his zanpakuto and what he had fought for, and remembered his old wife, pushing the student back he went for his thigh striking him bringing him to his knees.

After his little fight with the academy student he went on to the kido class, arriving he sat with his mates and instantly began focusing reatsu in his hands forming a ball of yellow reatsu, this was his reatsu colour, which seemed to be in comparison for his hair colour, his hair started to flor upwards as students laughed he let the reatsu go as his hair settled, the teacher suddenly came back through the door, he seemed a shocking fellow, and quite a weird one, he looked at vincente with deep peircing eyes, they seemed very scary as he slightly slid down the chair.

" You boy...you seem scared of me....do you not " he said in a very weird tone, sounded like he was high on drugs or something, looking at him vincente suddenly jumped up in his seat as the girl he had met came in with full shinigami uniform.

" N-Nu-No sir...im not scared " vincente replied slowly, he was still quite young and until he left the academy, he was quite a weird fellow himself, but once he left he turned serious and saw that his ambition was to fight for his captain even if all else was lost.

The girl looked at him and instantly fired a thrust at him which vincente quickly countered with a thrust himself, although she was 16th seat and vincentes thrust done near to nothing, sighing she walked out of the class, everyone looked shocked in this and looked at vincente who had blood running down his hand.

" You boy....You know why she did that " he said, over exaggerating the You making it alot longer , " N-No " Vincente replied
" She wanted to see how far you came young one " he said once more, again exaggerating the see just as he had done with the you.

Vincente's eyes widened slightly when the teacher said that. Looking to his hand he healed the small wound he had quickly up so he could carry on with his training. Not long after they left the room and entered the Kido range. Smiling slightly he put his other hand up. Creating a ball of blue energy he thrown it forward...Nothing happened. Pouring more reatsu into his hand he found it hard to be able to carry on with this and let the explosion go. Creating a blast of red energy which in turn fired towards the wall. Smashing into the target the other targets were blown away. Smiling slightly he tried to cheer himself up but then a boken smacked the back of his head. The teacher was still unimpressed.

Staying there for what must have been a hour he quickly turned "Okay this is just annoying. I've fired Shots of red fire like substance stuff and Your still Unimpressed!" he shouted. The teacher simply smiled and turned around. Vincente with a sigh looked down and then turned back to the range. Creating a final blast of red energy and releasing it. Taking the small target out completely. leaving only the stick of which it lay.

blankdoor
11-16-2008, 12:38 AM
Hello they’re Vincente I apologise for the delay in critiquing your application, but there are still some things I would like you to change.

Firstly you’re Zanpakutou section needs expanding with your characters choice of fighting style, this makes fellow BARPG’s now what to expect when role-playing with you, this also helps us understand your character better.

Secondly after word counting your sample mission I see that it is only 960 words long, all application must have a 1000 word minimum sample mission, please update this and I will be happy to re-critique.

Vincente
11-20-2008, 09:08 PM
yeh il finish my mission in awile, but can i ask what do you mean by fighting style, like using shunpo, using kendo, using kido mixed in with fast movements?

Cyclonus_Zaero
11-20-2008, 11:42 PM
How does you character prefer standing while they fight, as well as holding their sword?

That's what he means, I know this because I'm the one that insist on that piece in Zanpakuto.

-Capt. Cy

Vincente
08-13-2009, 01:13 PM
Yayage. I've finally finished. I was on the site looking for spoilers and was like "Wait. I swear i've been here before!" and then found out i lost my internet and never bookmarked this page. Thank you so much for not deleting this. Dam its been awhile. Looking at the profile i see how much of a noob i still was but wow. I've improved alot i think. Anyhow I've now done.

Word count for sample = 1120
History = Improved
Appearance = Improved
Personality = Improved
Fighting Style = Added.

I hope thats it.

anime-niac
08-13-2009, 06:16 PM
Then bookmarks it naoz. I need a minio- *cough* subordinate *cough cough*

In any case, that is quite a lot of detail. I would like you read through the whole thing again; I see some grammar errors that need fixing.

Are you sure about your ages and dates? We're officially 1500 years after the anime. Just thought I'd put that out there

Other than those I see quite a bit of detail. I look forward to having you as my lapdo- *cough* comrade *hacking cough*

13th Vice Captain Hakuro Kawazoe

Vincente
08-13-2009, 08:29 PM
Haha looking forward to it. Anyhow my dear Vice-captain I have ran it through Spellcheck.net and fixed asmuch as I could. and even though its been that long after the war at Spain I don't fancy going through a history after writing all of that. It would be a waste so....He's been dorment in that time. Or maybe even going from Human - Hollow in that time. and then to shinigami and stuff. so that's his first recorded life and inbetween that he swapped around as Hollow - Human - Shinigami and stuff and now i'm rping him now.... I hope you arn't going to say "Add that in and i'l accept" so i'l just add that in ^^

anime-niac
08-13-2009, 09:21 PM
When I said read through and fix I meant read through it. The are plenty of run-on sentences you need to fix. As to your bio just say you spent some time as a hollow, since I doubt a hungry beast would pay attention to time. I rather we keep a simple explanation rather than an unnecesarily complex one, ne?

I'm just briefly reading through, making sure you have all the details you want/need. I'll pick at the major ones as I go along, but I expect those sentences fixed with proper grammar

Vincente
08-13-2009, 09:27 PM
Heehee keep in mind i wrote this last year. of which i was only a newby as i only have been rping since last July. But yeah i'l go through those overuse's of comma's and add some fullstops in =P

anime-niac
08-13-2009, 09:35 PM
I read your zan description, and it can get confusing. It's like you're saying, "Oh this is my zan, pretty cool...oh, and this is the shikai form." The wording is deceptive, particularly the part about how its unreleased state taking the form of a common katana (which are about 75cm). Could you make this clearer?

Vincente
08-13-2009, 09:53 PM
Hokay Pokey I've done both of which you have asked. I've gone through the History and Appearance and gotten rid of most of the Comma's. Finishing the sentances and adding connectives into my sentances to make Complex Sentances...Wow i listened in my English class's xD.

Anyhow I see where you mean with the Zanpakuto. The way i wrote it made it seem as if i have a Shikai.. Of which I don't. Anyhow i removed the second bit and combined it with the first and edited it. So hopefully it will make sense now.

anime-niac
08-13-2009, 10:29 PM
Yes, we're going to put your writing skills to work, so get some practice in. Since blank and cy pointed out a majority of the technicalities, so all we had to do is polish it up.

Now, run through again, make sure you're satisfied with what you have, add anything you feel you need to add, and when you're ready submit the final.

Vincente
08-13-2009, 10:38 PM
Name:
Vincente Silvario

Gender:
Male

Age:
35 - Death in human world
85 - Starting of training in Soul Society



Appearance:
Vincente is about 5.9ft tall and has blonde long lenght hair which flows down his back. When the wind blows this hair is always blown about due to its thiness. He has a thin body and he has blue eyes and quite long arms and legs which help for quicker movements due to momentum. He keeps his hair well kept and keeps himself clean.Over the years he has shown that he doesn't like getting his clothes dirty.

Vincente Always has his zanpakuto hanging at his right side in the same place. He wears a standard shinigami uniform which the sleeves are longer than his arms he often has his top done up not revealing anything but his neck, but sometimes has it loose. He has also got a small necklance made of silver around his neck in the shape of a cross.


Personality:

Overall
Vincente is a fairly calm and relaxed person,and tries to do everything asked off him, he believes strongly in loyalty and will not let it slip, he hates arrogant people and will do his best to shut up anyone who gets to arrogant. He also believes strongly in freindship and will help his friends when he needs it. He sometimes gets angry at people who are nasty to his captain or underestimate him, and will do whatever he can to stop them.He doesn't like fighting but if he has to he will, he also is very weak to women and blushes even at them looking at him.

He likes to relax alot and chill out, he doesn't like being messed around with however he will stay calm in most situations. He does like to be around others however. No matter what the situation Vincente has proven he is not one to easily become angered, this is proven by his time in soul society academy, he simply slain all hollow of which opposed him, his anger is never triggered, he has no anger, and he shall never have it. As such he is a caring and loving person.
Vincente likes to lean back, and ponder upon the meaning of life, and the many questions you start to ask yourself when you have been alive for over a dozen of decades. From time to time, these moments of thoughtfulness can give birth to a song or two, being the musical lover that he is.
Thats right. Vincente is not just a pretty head with a large brain. He can also fight. While some shinigami choose to specialize in one skill and turn it into their trademark, He is neither lacking in close quarter combat, nor in ranged battles. If there is one thing he is skilled at more than others, it would be to sense spiritual pressure. While Vincente will try to avoid a fight and settle for a peaceful solution, should the opportunity arise, he is not afraid to draw his blade and fight for what he believes in. Vincente has always been a trustworthy companion. He does not make of his friends opinions or viewpoints. He is honest, and he seldom lies, unless he believes that its of the utmost necessity and no matter how busy he is, and no even if it goes not benefit him, he always have time to give his friends a helping hand if they need it.



Biography

Human life

Vincente born in 1915 into a low life family in Spain. His parents brought him up bad and he only got the scraps of the clothes his older brother had grown out off. His brother was born in better condition and didn't whine as much as Vincente did. Not being able to survive that good Vincente didnt grow any good muscles and started to become thin, without good clothing and food he grew up bad, his bones were weak and he couldn't do alot due to this. His parents couldn't afford schooling so schooling was quite impossible so he didn't grow to be intelligent either, Although his brother was allowed to go due to him being older. when he was 5 his mother died of a illness he had caught first and somehow survived, passing it on to his mother.

Adult life and death

Joining the Spanish Air force he went through basic training very well getting top score in all of the test and doing well in the written exam. He was finally ordered to lead a 6 fighter squad to take out a small wave of 3 bombers aiming to take out a small village which was making massive amounts of money. His squad took no casualties and he turned to return home. He shouldn't of been so stupid to think only 3 bombers were to take out a very weathly village and over the horizon came over 200 bombers which were escorted by about 460 fighters. The main force of Germany were coming to take out the village and carry on to the capital, all with enough force to come back alive with minimal casualties. Escaping home the news was broadcast and the fighters from around Spain were send to defend this village with heavy casualties both sides Vincente managed to stay alive with a broken arm, which he obtained from an explosion both sides of him sending a piece of metal through the side into his arm, he landed successfully and was given a medal for his duty. He now for the first time in his life, felt special.

On his second mission he was to lead a whole division to defend Europe. With many fighters from around Europe a massive battle commenced once again he came out undamaged and he landed his fighter back into England where he once again gained a medal, at this time most of his freinds were killed in many different battles.

At 27 he was ordered to return back to Spain with his division, flying back he met with more German fighter ships and was the only one shot down due to his broken arm breaking because of his broken bone from his first mission created a weak point which wasn't reinforced. Going down into water he bearly survived and made it back to land. he stayed there for many years trying to remember who he was, it was at this point his uncle had returned and had reminded him of who he was and his history. He also learned of the younger brother he had which his mother also abandoned and they quickly became friends, they started to do shooting together and other sports becoming a great team. He was also promoted to join the Air force, with both of them side by side they fought many battles and learned many skills an earned many badges. Now was the return trip to Spain which was first unsuccessful, unlike the first one he actually got back without interference and married a lovely Spanish women.

Fighting against another division he was shortly shot down in a training mission. Ending up in Soul society. his death was noble going up in a huge flame and nearly taking out his wingmen due to a oil leak. From here he went onto becoming a Hollow of which he remained for many years. Long after Aizen had gone. About 1400 years from the main story line he was slain and emerged as a Spirit in Seireitei.


Shinigami.

When he arrived in soul society he was in one of the more calmer areas and he grew up with a family not being very rich, but still rich enough he liked the ways he was treated and bore good clothes. Opposite to what he had in his human life. his life in rukongai went well and he grew with many people showing them what he had achieved in life. As he got older his friends started to disappear and join the academy. Most of them got out before he thought about joining and so he set off with a long walk ahead of him and he respectfully bowed to every shinigami he saw which suprised them however but he didn't want to make himself stupid, so he skipped the weird looking ones.

Vincente entered the Academy for Shinigami and became quite useful within his own fighting style and kidou. Vincente majored in tactics and uses less brute force and relies on his brain. Now a Shinigami, Vincente majored alone, appearing invisible to the rest of the academy except for many who stepped in his way. He kept a strong profile with everyone of his freinds, often meeting with them when classes were over. Still, he stood out like a sore thumb. When he was finally done, he was allowed in the Thirteenth.


Division applying to:
13th division

Zanpakuto appearance:
Vincente's Zanpakuto is a blue hilted sword with a white sheath. the blade itself is about 100cm and very silver, It seems to be well kept and always sharp. This could be due to the amount of times he actually needs to use it or he is very fussy about the edge that he is going to battle with. The guard is in the shape of 3 wings which come out at traingular angles the wings and not very long and they all curl clockwise and the tip of the wings nearly touch the other stem of the next wing, he wears this zanpakuto at his side.


Fighting Style
His fighting styles is unique, he tends to hold his blade at his side and although he appears to be unsuited to Kendo he can still use it. His Zanjutsu is quite good and he is able to pull quick and precise moves on anyone who wishes to come towards him and have ago at him. His Shunpo skills go well with this and he tends to use it alot. Making precise movements like Shunpo'ing behind and then infront making 2 quick attacks to confuse the enemy at each point and then appear above to release a quick kido blast. Which brings us to his Kido skills. although they are not as good as his Zanjutsu and his Shunpo his attacks are still fairly powerful.

Vincente
08-13-2009, 10:38 PM
The first day of becoming a shinigami, he was to start training on the move, shunpo,he was fascinated by its speed and the way it worked, he even prayed he'd some day be able to fight using his shunpo as a advantage, his zanpakuto aided him as he stood there looking at his teacher, without his zanpakuto he wouldn’t feel happy and probably deprived of the basic need of it, and the fascination.

he finally got the courage to walk to his seat and bow to the master, in which many of his students laughed, causing him to go red, he was sat next to this wonderful looking shinigami, who's long blonde hair reached her shoulders, but frightfully not as long as his, but looking around he wasn’t the only one, after a few minutes he was told to stand up, he stood up looking at the master who was behind him before he had a chance to notice, the master suddenly grabbed him and stuck him against a wall, the girl looked slightly shocked and then look down, the master was her father and he didn’t want her with some guy like vincente who wasn’t from the loyal, just as she did.

" M..master...y..you.." he said coughing as his throat started throbbing.

" shut up and listen ! " he shouted back as he let go of vincente who slid down the wall and went to grab his sword, but was hit by a high pressure forcing him to his knees, he then let go and was released from the terrible pressure, going back to the seat he sat down, only slightly glancing at the girl who sat opposite of him, a sudden reatsu fell on his shoulders as he turned quickly as the master was behind him again, slapping him around the back of the head

" pay attention" he shouted before vincente even had a chance to say anything,vincente suddenly got the point and shut up, and listened to the best of his ability.

At the leaving bell he was dismissed and the girl smiled at him as he went passed, she was in his class in all lessons and they slowly became freinds, although in one of the last days of the week she disappeared, it was said she was send on a mission with a few others and died in a freak accident, the truth was that she had moved to one of the squads.

In the last day of the week he stood there in the swords training with his bokken in hand, as his zanpakuto was hung up not far away, he couldn’t keep his mind off it losing 4/5 matches he was put for his last match, he decided he couldn’t lose this one and focused his will into his bokken and made his reatsu form a sword in his mind, running forward he stuck down upon his enemy shocking the ground underneath him, swinging it back around himself he hit the enemies bokken once more, he started to do a sequence of moves which were quick and were kept being stopped by the sweating enemy, he looked at him, he had long green hair, which was unusual, but regardless he went to hit him again, after 5 minutes of severe bashings, they deadlocked, pushing as hard as he could he was still being pushed back , but then he remembered his zanpakuto and what he had fought for, and remembered his old wife, pushing the student back he went for his thigh striking him bringing him to his knees.

After his little fight with the academy student he went on to the kido class, arriving he sat with his mates and instantly began focusing reatsu in his hands forming a ball of yellow reatsu, this was his reatsu colour, which seemed to be in comparison for his hair colour, his hair started to flor upwards as students laughed he let the reatsu go as his hair settled, the teacher suddenly came back through the door, he seemed a shocking fellow, and quite a weird one, he looked at vincente with deep peircing eyes, they seemed very scary as he slightly slid down the chair.

" You boy...you seem scared of me....do you not " he said in a very weird tone, sounded like he was high on drugs or something, looking at him vincente suddenly jumped up in his seat as the girl he had met came in with full shinigami uniform.

" N-Nu-No sir...im not scared " vincente replied slowly, he was still quite young and until he left the academy, he was quite a weird fellow himself, but once he left he turned serious and saw that his ambition was to fight for his captain even if all else was lost.

The girl looked at him and instantly fired a thrust at him which vincente quickly countered with a thrust himself, although she was 16th seat and vincentes thrust done near to nothing, sighing she walked out of the class, everyone looked shocked in this and looked at vincente who had blood running down his hand.

" You boy....You know why she did that " he said, over exaggerating the You making it alot longer , " N-No " Vincente replied
" She wanted to see how far you came young one " he said once more, again exaggerating the see just as he had done with the you.

Vincente's eyes widened slightly when the teacher said that. Looking to his hand he healed the small wound he had quickly up so he could carry on with his training. Not long after they left the room and entered the Kido range. Smiling slightly he put his other hand up. Creating a ball of blue energy he thrown it forward...Nothing happened. Pouring more reatsu into his hand he found it hard to be able to carry on with this and let the explosion go. Creating a blast of red energy which in turn fired towards the wall. Smashing into the target the other targets were blown away. Smiling slightly he tried to cheer himself up but then a boken smacked the back of his head. The teacher was still unimpressed.

Staying there for what must have been a hour he quickly turned "Okay this is just annoying. I've fired Shots of red fire like substance stuff and Your still Unimpressed!" he shouted. The teacher simply smiled and turned around. Vincente with a sigh looked down and then turned back to the range. Creating a final blast of red energy and releasing it. Taking the small target out completely. leaving only the stick of which it lay. Vincente Smiled and then bowed before leaving. Today the training was done. Tommorow would bring more.
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<Delete this post after you read it>

I had already gone through it and added all I wanted if you read the post with me coming back. I added bits to History, Appearance and Personality.
I also had to write up a bigger Sample Mission. So i'm happy with it all.

Cyclonus_Zaero
08-14-2009, 05:34 PM
Looks good enough to me. Post in the Fina Apps and we'll see what happens.