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Cracks
11-13-2008, 09:34 PM
| Application | Naito Rei <8th Division>

Note: I used to RP a hollow character quite a while back but now I would like to change to the side of the shinigami.

► Name:

夜 テッド魂
Naito Rei
Night’s Spirit

► Gender: Male

► Age:

Age 7 upon entrance to Rukongai where he remained until 15 awaiting the day he was brought before the Daikokubashira Academy for evaluation. After his training he kept such details secret.

► Appearance:

Rei’s most striking feature is his dark black piercing eyes which will mockingly follow everyone across the room in the fashion of an eerie portrait. He is relatively short at 178cm with a well toned body surprisingly muscular without the appearance of being so. His short slick hair is a dark ominous grey and glistens a mysterious silver in the moonlight. The Lower half of his face is normally obscured by a tight fitting black facemask.

Everything about his appearance is more streamlined; including his Shinigami shihakusho which he dons. It binds visually more tightly and has a black hood attached to enable him to further hide his identity and characteristics. There is a red ribbon tied to his left arm that flows freely in the wind, which he has adorned ever since his first days in the academy. Its purpose is undisclosed.

► Personality:

Rei doesn’t enjoy conversation, he doesn’t want to hear your life’s story but he’d much prefer to listen to the last breath ooze softly out of your limp dying lips. His social conduct is minimal as he aims to remain unnoticed, gladly lazing about in the shadows contempt in their clutches of bleak ambiguity.

When he does choose to engage in conversation he speaks his mind and will not flinch at the consequences. Having only really experienced joy in the form of others suffering, it is possible to classify his grasp on emotions mildly, as lacking. Not to say he is a heatless demon as such; Rei feels strongly about respect and loyalty as he practically devotes himself to the people he chooses to associate with.

This apparent cold clarity is also exhibited in his method of combat. Once engaged in a fight he regards sanity to be for the weak as Rei sheds its callous bonds embracing the fanatical madness of blade strokes he relies primarily on his speed to confuse and conquer his enemies.



► Biography:

Current Memory:

Life in the Slums:
It was only in death that he finally began to live. The slums of Rukongai offered him rebirth and Rei took it. Starting off as a simple pick pocket he patrolled the streets hording minor fragments of wealth, each day his reiatsu growing stronger.

At 13 he became a black-market fight champion in West Rukongai district 79. By putting on the charade of a little weak boy then dispatching his opponent in 1-hit - at the same time betting heavily on himself, he became a small rural legend. It was this reputation which brought a shinigami to sneak into the lower districts to watch one of Rei’s late night fights. However once the shinigami noticed the uncanny reiatsu emanating from the kid, Rei was dispatched to the Academy for his testing.

In the Academy:
It was at this time, for some strange reason Rei shrouded himself in a cloak of solitude. Concentrating on his training he surpassed near to all others in most classes par that of what the shinigami called kidō. Rei trained with feverish ferocity to become flawless in his Zanjutsu and Hohou.

►Division applying to:

8th Division

► Zanpakuto appearance:

The katana is relatively short spanning not more than 50cm in length. The blade is around 40cm and entirely pitch black save for a small sliver strip along the awfully sharp blade edge. The guard is small and simple not drawing attention to itself; however the handle is wrapped in dark grey satin and has what appears to be a pitch black knuckleduster emanating out of the guard and connecting to the bottom of the handle. The rarity about this Zanpakuto from others is its scabbard. The blade remains hidden within Rei’s right sleeve and can be released blade first. This is useful for swift assassination purposes.

The zanpakuto matches Rei's combat style very well, being adapted for quick silent attacks Rei is able to fight in short bursts retreating to the shadows to make his next onslaught. Rei rarely uses demon arts and believes that flying purple sparks are the toys of children not for those who practise death. Due to this attitude he had paid very little attention in his kido tuitions and as a result he is poorly skilled in this area.

Cracks
11-13-2008, 09:47 PM
► Sample mission: - seeing as I’m limited to being an academy student I’ll simplify (remove actual combat from) the general mission.

♠ | Ripples in Time: | Chapter I ♠
Act I - Why are people .... ineffective

Notes: Italics is used to show Rei's thinking process

The Rhododendron is a truly weird flower. Rei thought to himself cocking his head partly to the side, as he lay down in its towering shade.

The sunlight glistened through its canopy in cherubic bursts as the wind effortlessly rocked the plant in a sinister ballad of dark black petals calmly falling from its monstrous height. The air was humid with the sound of rustling leaves crashing upon each other in its never-ending recital. Naito Rei, Daikokubashira Academy student, lay silently on his back blankly observing the floral overture taking place.

Suddenly the sound of loud erratic footsteps formed a repulsive adultery in contrast to the serine reverie and in a fleeting instant the moment had passed. The figure of a klutz-like girl with glasses and chaotic hair carrying an armful of discordant books ran past Rei. She tripped on a protruding root and fell face first colliding violently into the hard earth beneath.

“Owwwaaahhhh!” - Came a shrill cry from the collapsed girl.

Rei grunted and rolled to the side pretending to be asleep and having not noticed...

“Oowwaaaaahhhh!!” The girl continued, louder this time, now sitting upright with tears brimming in her eyes.

Rei grunted again and pulled his hood over his head...

“Aahh-hem,” The girl cleared her throat and spoke annoyingly in ‘a matter of fact’ tone, “You know its very un-gentleman like of you not to help a lady, such as myself, up after a trip”

She had risen to a kneeled down position with her arms placed angrily on her hips and stared with furious eyes at him. Her appearance was made worse by a horrendously vivid pink variant of the academy robes which seemed to clash tremendously with her ruby red hair. With his charade no more; slowly but surely Rei rose mechanically, each and every vertebrate clicking melodically along his spine as he assumed a more upright stature. Scratching his left shoulder, it was evident from the sour expression and vacant aura that he was still bitterly disorientated from his daydreaming. They exchanged glances for what felt like an eternity of awkwardness, while Rei pitilessly evaluated her discrepancies. Naito Rei was bluntly, a cold soul who would instantly analyse a person on meeting them, calculating their possible merits and noting down their weaknesses and areas of sorrow. After a moments deliberation Rei had formed a plan to remove the overly pink eyesore.

“Eh ... When did you become a lady?” Rei replied half-heartedly starring off into space.

Her retort was a simple full frontal slap aimed directly at Rei’s face, but just before the hand made contact he grabbed her wrist, moving her hand swiftly aside.

She promptly pulled back and whimpered in shock, “Wha...whaa...what happened to your hands?”.

Rei scowled giving her a displeased glare. He looked down at his hands confused then back at her. They were torn and teeming in cuts oozing blood still ghastly sticky to the touch, partially wrapped in a mediocre attempt of bandaging - they were not an impressive sight.

Why does she care?! The voice rang inside his head.

Finally he noticed it was taking way too long to reply. “Training” Rei answered in a demeanour which could only be interpreted as ‘get lost’.

Training was all he ever seemed to be doing nowadays, whether it was endurance hohou exercise, advanced Zanjutsu skills or reiatsu control Rei knew that if he kept at his work none would be able to match him. So he persisted, always in the shadows training constantly and silently, ardent to make a name for himself.

The women was obviously beyond taking hints and lurched forward again with a sympathetic expression in her eyes. Rei couldn’t stand these types of hindrances; useless weaklings that should never have gained entrance into the Saishuu Gotei. They should know their place and leave him alone. He picked up his zanpakuto in his left hand patted down the dirt from his shihakusho and started to pace backwards away from this clearly mentally challenged female.

While adjusting her glasses she began to say, “Well let me just have a little look, I think I ca-” Fortunately she was cut off by the sharp sound of shunpo and realised that Rei had already vanished. “Hmmpff Bakka!” she stuttered stunned to herself

~

When Rei exited out of shunpo, he appeared in front of an ominous snow white building, roofed in the darkest crimson tiles, which hinted at the practises from which its daunting walls masked. He had arrived at the entrance to the Academy combat dojo, a place where recruits prove themselves at the expense of others.

The sky had suddenly darkened, the winds had swept into a glorious cackle and the earth tinged in the anticipation of a downpour. The sky portrayed an epic battle between thousands of frontiers of clouds embarking on a titanic skirmish accompanied with the sounds of trumpeting thunder as torrential rain started to explode from the heavens. Rei smiled and entered the dojo. He adorned his hood and stuck to the back walls as he made his way unnoticed to his usual training area. A cold metal training dummy had been installed especially for him under request of the maintenance crew who had to clear away the wreckage of the simpler ones he regularly destroyed. Removing a boku training sword from an adjacent rack he began his assault on the dummy.

With soundless proficiency he aimed strikes at all the vital organs represented with crosshairs on the dummy. Readily building up speed, soon a whirlwind of blows ricocheted deadly strikes in a calm but frenzied order. Rei found it oddly relaxing as he spun in succession delivering blows from varied angles. It wasn’t long until there were was a crowd of giggling first years nervously gathering behind him until one of them plucked out the courage and stepped forward.

“Sem... Sempai?”

Rei frowned.

“What”

“I w…was w…o…wondering if you c…coul,” The first year attempted.

“Stop stuttering” - Rei released a short sigh which if the 1st year knew what was best for him, should have interpreted it as a warning to disengage. Why do I always have that effect on people

“Could show me a few moves” The 1st year finally managed to finish.

In a flash of blurred movement Rei spun around and launched a thrust at the student so fast that the air pressure accompanying it threw the student a few meters across the floor. The others watched in awe and mumbled amongst themselves “The boku didn’t even touch him!!”

“Pathetic” Rei muttered under his breath - I can’t waste my time here!

Dropping the Boku, Rei vanished into shunpo disappearing before it had the chance to crash noisily on the ground.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.


Act II - Ordeals ahead, better off dead
To be continued

blankdoor
11-14-2008, 11:02 PM
Hey Cracks, pity to see your not being a hollow anymore we don’t have enough of those lovable masked villains, but now on a more serious note your application.

I must comment on how your application is quite stunning, on a side note I will wait for you to complete your sample mission before critiquing it, even though it looks rather good so far.

Firstly I want clarification on your age, as we usually have 10-year gap between entrance to soul society and your current age, your application states he entered soul society at 7 and then after entrance to the academy he kept his age a secret I believe though that you at least are 17 by now? (This making sure it reaches the minimum of the 10 year mark)

Secondly I wish to know more about your fighting style, even though I know you prefer using a simple 1-hit killing blow, but what would you fight like if your tactic failed and you were engaged in 1 vs. 1 physical combat?

Cracks
11-15-2008, 09:40 AM
Cheers for the quick reply Blank, all the people I knew from the Hollow rp look like the've quit so I thought I'd try out in the shinigami part >.>

About the application:

The first part of the mission is 1000+ words and i'm saving the rest of the mission for if I get accepted. It contains fighting that I don't think an academy student is capable of...

His age is a secret - but ofcourse he'll be 17+ (gotta keep with BA standards ^^)

My character fights in short bursts retracting to the shadows to launch his next attack. His zanpakuto is based primarily on 1 to 1 fights but his style can be adapted to 1 on many combat situations. As I hope you've guessed from his personality/bio/zanpakuto my character is based on swift attacks similar to those of a ninja


I've got a question though, - since I was already a Hollow do I keep the ZG I earned there is it translated into shinigami Saishuu Gotei ZG?

C.

blankdoor
11-16-2008, 01:00 AM
Hey there Cracks, I have to say thank you for your quick reply as well.

Well in answer to your first question that would be a no, due to your absence from BARPG, also swapping from a hollow to shinigami is not really allowed, but once again due to your long absence I will over look this fact.

Now onto your sample mission, the problem with your sample mission is not the content, but the grammar and punctuation of the content, for example:

“I Ww was wo-wondering if you ccoul” the 1st year attempted

This sentence would be written as such:

“I w…was w…o…wondering if you c…coul,” The first year attempted

Please also note the use of a comma, as when transitioning for speech to regular writing you place a comma, exclamation point, or question mark.

Also in this example:

“OOOWWWAAAAAHHH!!!!!”

Here there is also unnecessary use of capitalisation as the exclamation point(s) clearly state that fact, which brings me happily onto my second issue the over use of exclamation points is truly unnecessary. The sentence should look like this

“Ooowwwaaaaahhh!”

Though its smaller is still portrays the same meaning and in a more professional manner.

I urge you to run your sample mission through a word processor this should help get rid of any unwanted mistakes and maybe even show you some that you didn’t even know existed.

Please do what I have requested, then after I shall view your application once more and make another judgement.

Cracks
11-16-2008, 01:55 PM
OK - I've made the changes requested,

sidenote:
Im using a 'British' English spellcheck so there might be a few differently spelled words throughout.

C.

Cyclonus_Zaero
11-19-2008, 08:22 PM
After looking over your app I saw only a few things that need tweaked.

Age:
Since it takes roughly ten years to go through the Academy the way I'm interpreting your chara's current age is around 25 correct?

Bio:
A few more sentences in either of your two sections here and you'll be golden.

Zanpakuto:
Simple here, just tack on your chara's preferred fighting style, not necessarily the only one, and you'll be good here.

And Just A Few Things Of Note I Wanna Make Sure Ya Know:
1. You retain your previous ZG of 1931.
2. Yes that means you can attain Shikai.
3. You did a good job RPing as a Hollow and I would like to say welcome to the Shinigami side :p.