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[Application] Ama no Kagaseo <6th Division> - BleachAnime.org Forums

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Justsomeanimelover
12-30-2008, 12:58 AM
Name:
Ama no Kagaseo (The brilliant male)

and

Amatsu Mikaboshi (August Star of Heaven)

Gender:
Male

Age:
Age at Death: 22
Age in SS: 62

Appearance:
Athletic guy who does a lot of sports. He's quite good looking but no charm king. His thin silver long hair is usually combed backward, reaching behind his soulderblades. He keeps himself clean and tidy most of the time. He has bleuish/green eyes. Most of the time he keeps a stern face with a kind of sadness about it. His complexion is caucasian with a slender face, ending is a somewhat tipping chin. He has a delicate nose party being a bit pointy. His body is strong with prominent long stretched muscles. The built of a warior. He has long slender fingers with well cared for fingernails. Like his nose, his ears are delicate and partially hidden beneath his long hair.

When Amatsu takes over, his appearance changes accordingly. His pupils are narrowed whilst his iris turns hellish bleu. The area around his eyes turns deep blue/black. The edges of his fingernails turn dark and his pigmentation a few shades greyer.

Personality:
Ama suffers from a psychosis from his time in the living world which he suffered in a terrible war. This has induced a split personality. On the one hand there is Ama no Kagaseo, a quiet guy who seeks solitude. He likes calligraphy and does a lot of work outs. He enjoys walking in serene envirements. He hides terrible secrets from his time in the living world. Because he can't remember much he is constantly troubled by his past. A constant occuring nightmare, his only memory of his time alive, sets him amidst a bloody battle where everything is black and grey and the people around him are mere silouhets. With every decision he has to make he is challenged by his past. When provoked his split personality, Amatsu Mikaboshi can take over at any moment. This is Ama's evil side. Amatsu is Ama's shield against the horrors of war and daily life. Amatsu is cunning, cruel and devoid of any compassion. He is a sadist and doens't sway to resort to torture, even on people who aren't his enemies. Amatsu's sole purpose of existance is to take revenge on society for Ama's pain and suffering. In fact, Amatsu's only looking for an excuse to kill as many people as he can. Amatsu can be provoked by either a intense fighting or a deep hatred Ama has towards someone. Its best not to talk to him to much about trivial affairs but stick to the topic.

Biography:
Dying in the war, Ama has a war trauma. He remembers very little from his moment of death but is frequently victim of terrible nightmares where figments of humans are seen dying amidst blazes of fire. His constantly occurring nightmare goes as follows:

He finds himself in a black and grey world. Only a few pigments of red and orange from the fire around him colors his world. He can see silhouettes of trees, grass and people but can't hear anyone clearly although most of them are shouting or yelling. He doesn't know if they are yelling at each other or just in misery. He can see dark figures coming at him. The only comprehensible thing he can hear is in echoes: "Tenno Heika!" and then everyone shouts: "Banzai!" a lot of figures rise up from a hole and run forward. They are holding weapons; He is holding a weapon too. He's being pushed forward, He doesn't want to but goes anyways. Then he's fighting someone, He can't see his face but he's killing him. Then he hears a loud bang and wakes up, sweating.

Coming to Rukongai, Ama was scared of what was going to happen. He came with a lot of others and felt like he knew them. Some he liked but others he feared, like he somehow knew that some were his friends and others his enemies. However all that mattered not here, they could all be friends. He lived in Rukongai #34 for most of my time here. It was quiet with an occasional theft of food or water. It wasn't until thirty years ago that Ama became very hungry and couldn't stop eating. He then discovered he had more spirit power then ordinary souls. He wandered through Rukongai for the best part of his life after that. He didn't want to join the Shinigami academy out of an unexplained fear of battle. He fell in love with a woman called Yuka when he visited Rukongai #78. It was a rotten place. He lived happily with her until one day she was murdered. Ama chased the felons around until he found them. When he woke up he was covered in blood. It was then that he decided to use his powers and applied to the Shinigami academy.

Division applying to:
I apply to the 6th division. (Because they are run by nobility)

Zanpakuto appearance:
Ama’s zanpakuto resembles an Imperial Japanese Army officer’s katana. He had it all this time in Soul Society but he can’t remember how he got it. It just came with him when he died. The only thing out of place is the saya, it is a standard black lacquer saya since only the katana came with him, the saya not including. The zanpakuto itself is 103cm long and curved normally. It has a bo-hi from the tsuba all the way up dissapearing into the kisaki. The hamon is Midare. The tsuba is black and is shaped in the form of a solar disk with spokes (http://www.bugei.com/images_products/511_small.jpg) every other spoke half in silver and half in gold lengthwise. The Ito is in Indigo with black same. The fuchi and kashira have diagonal golden rays on a black surface. The rays on the kashira are emitting from a solar disk on its centre. On each side of the tsuka under the ito there is a menuki attached in the form of a chinese warior dragon mask. The one on the left has a kind face, the one on the right an angry face with a tear in one eye. The sageo is indigo, like the ito. The bottom mekugi is brass and the top mekugi is bamboo.

P.S. Amatsu is NOT a hollow

blankdoor
01-02-2009, 11:39 PM
Hello and thank you for applying to BARPG, but first there are some issues I wish for you to correct.

Firstly please use proper paragraphing and make sure your sample mission is over 1,000 words. Secondly we tend to write in 3rd person here in BARPG, this includes the section in your biography, finally I have to insist on detail, please expand all areas of your application especially your zanpkutou and appearance sections.

~Blank

Justsomeanimelover
01-03-2009, 01:48 AM
paragraphing: English or American format?

blankdoor
01-03-2009, 09:37 AM
I would prefer for you to use English paragraphing, but if this would cause problems please state it now.

~Blank

Justsomeanimelover
01-03-2009, 07:38 PM
Sample mission:


Upon receiving orders to join his group for field exercises in the real world, Ama quickly grabbed his zanpakuto and made for the Senkai gate. The rest were already there, including the 3rd Seat to lead them. Aim of the exercise was to test new squad tactics where each squad was comprised of a couple of ordinary Shinigami together with one 4th squad and an kido expert from the Kido Corps. Upon entering the real world Ama found that other Shinigami had preceded them in setting up a base perimeter. The battlefield was to be an abandoned university campus.

“Alright, listen up everyone!” the 3rd seat commanded. “Today your group will advance through the campus and reach the other side. The extraction area is designated by a green light. You will maneuver in a cautious and professional manner! That’s all!”

Ama followed the other three Shinigami. The campus was deserted and had fallen into ruin. All the windows were broken and many doors were displaced, or missing entirely. The place gave Ama an eerie feeling. Advancing further, the group scanned the area around them. Ama wondered what the 3rd seat had set up for them. Not a moment later, a small hollow appeared from a window on the left. “I’ll take it!” Ama yelled. “Hado san-juu-san, soukatsui!” the kido expert chanted and a flash of blue light disintegrated the hollow before Ama could engage it with his sword.

A bit displeased he watched as the kido expert walked further like nothing had happened. “No sweat” the expert started, “Us Kido Corps wouldn’t need ordinary Shinigami!” he bragged. At that moment in every dark window and doorway, reddish and yellow pairs of eyes appeared. “What the…!” Ama yelled. “Be on guard!” the other Shinigami commended. A second later some twenty hollows poured from every corner. “Hado san-juu-san!” the Kido Corps expert chanted again, but could not finish his incantation in time. He released the energy bundle towards a hollow, but it lacked the strength to kill it. Ama flew into action, parrying a paw from it and then slashing its skull in half. “Surround the Kido expert!” Ama yelled. Without hestitation the other three Shinigami did so.

The hollows drew ever closer, two assaulted the other Shingami and the 4th squad Shinigami, but they managed to overcome them. Ama turned around towards the Kido expert; “You do a strong Kido this time! We’ll provide you with cover to say the incantation!” The Kido expert hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and started the incantation of Hado #4. The hollows fell upon the Shinigami five at the time. Each fighting off two Hollows, Ama’s comrade was wounded by a bite to his right arm. Ama stood in front of him and ordered the 4th Squad member to start treatment whilst he would ward of the hollows. A hollow, with a particularly long right arm, sculpted to resemble something of a blade attacked Ama. Ama clashed his zanpakuto against it and pushed it down into the ground. The hollow sought to bite him in the face, but bringing his zanpakuto back up again he pushed the Hollow’ head up and then slashed at its throat. In pain, the hollow withdrew, but Ama leapt forward and cleaved its head, killing it.

The remaining hollows withdrew to the darkness, only to make way for a Huge Hollow to attack the group. Ama stepped back as had never seen such a mighty foe. “Hurry!” he yelled back. The Huge Hollow came forward to crush Ama with its fists. Suddenly, from above his left shoulder, a white and blue beam of light rushed by, striking the Huge Hollow in the face. Distraught, it stumbled backward. The other Shinigami was patched up enough to participate in the fight. Both he and Ama rushed the Huge Hollow, still blinded and stunned by the Kido strike, they jumped up to attack its head. Both Shinigami hit an eye socket, partly cracking its mask. The Huge Hollow responded by waving of the two Shinigami with its hands. Angered, it resumed the attack, this time concentrating on the 4th squad member.

Ama, shook up from his fall, crawled back up again. “Damn it, what do they expect us to do?” he cursed. Focusing all of his strength into one attack, Ama ran towards the Huge Hollow’ right flank, seeking to cut its right arm to prevent it from striking the 4th squad member. Ama timed his jump and crashed his blade into the Huge Hollow’ right arm. The blade stopped two thirds down. The hollow let out a shout of pain. Ama made a second cut, completely severing the hand. The kido expert fired another Hado #4 at the Hollow. The Huge Hollow, now opposed by four Shinigami and missing one hand, withdrew. A black and grey portal opened and it disappeared.

Tired, but happy, the group proceeded with the exercise. Out of nowhere, the 3rd seat appeared. “You are to evacuate the area immediately! A real Hollow has been sighted. It seems this a Huge Hollow class” the 3rd seat warned. As if struck by lighting the group stood nailed to the ground. “What is it?” the 3rd seat asked. “You have to move, it could be here any minute!” The group looked at each other in disbelieve. Only then did Ama realize the danger they were all in just moments ago.

Returning to Seireitei, they were greeted by the entire class in a jubilant display of cheer and congratulations. Word of their success had preceded them here and everybody sought to meet the promising new Shinigami apprentices who fought a Huge Hollow. Even the teachers approved of their progress. Ama received an offer from the sixth division to participate in their specialized large-hollow combat exercises. An opportunity to train with the best of all classes for future combat against large types of Hollow and possibly even Menos Grande. That night, being treated to ample of sake and cheers by his comrades, Ama could finally withdraw to his bedroll. He underwent the socializing with the others because he felt obliged to, but felt uneasy about all the attention. Luckily something good came from it. “Fighting for the sixth!” Ama fantasized. “Warrior Elite, noble and vigilant.” Ama turned around and fell asleep.


----------
I used american format since english format isn't supported by this forum.

Justsomeanimelover
01-15-2009, 12:20 AM
I editted my CV a bit. Let me know if it passes :cool:

Further reference to my humble writing skill:

http://www.bleachanime.org/forums/showthread.php?t=38733

http://www.bleachanime.org/forums/showthread.php?t=38400

http://www.bleachanime.org/forums/showthread.php?t=39259

Justsomeanimelover
01-16-2009, 11:03 PM
My recruiter has vanished :(

Urahara Monogoto
01-19-2009, 01:07 PM
I'm no mod, but I suggest you either PM Blankdoor as it has been well-beyond five days since it's last been examined or you should post in the Final Applications thread.

P.S. There's no need to post anything to do with your shi kai here, you do that once you have 1000 SLP.

Justsomeanimelover
01-19-2009, 04:39 PM
I wrote it down so no-one would beat me to it :) Now I can always reference that I had it earlier. :D

MagicalBells
01-19-2009, 10:34 PM
Since Blank has not given your application a look in a while, I'll go ahead and give you some tips.

First, you still do have a few punctuational and grammatical errors in a couple of your sections, so please go back and look for those that you have missed.

Second, you did include portions of your shikai in your application. It is not against the rules to have thoughts put into your blade before applying, but we do not accept any applications that have anything written about their shikai. So, please remove that portion and save it in a different file if you so wish. Once you get approval on the punctuation errors and have removed your shikai state from the application, it will be about ready to be finalized.

Justsomeanimelover
01-20-2009, 12:17 AM
touched up my sample mission a bit, its late though, will spend some more time at it tomorow. Shame on me though for the was/were mistake :glare:

MagicalBells
01-26-2009, 12:42 AM
Alrighty, you've fixed a number of errors, though there are still a few left. I'm just being picky on these though.

A few things to watch out for that are still present in the application:

1. 99% of the time, the word "but" is proceeded by a comma.

2. Blue is spelled this way. :)

3. A few of your sentences are missing simple words like "The" or "a."

Again, none of these things are overly major, but if you can find ways to fix them up, you just may find yourself with a higher grading on your finished missions. And you may submit your final application whenever you wish now.

Justsomeanimelover
02-02-2009, 12:46 AM
Oops, sorry. Was very VERY busy with school the past two weeks. Had some very important deadlines to make.
----------
OK, made some more adjustments. I changed some of the sentences and corrected a few grammar/style mistakes. My bad though about the interpunction bit :D. Please take note though that I sometimes leave small words out of the text for poetic value.