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cp1983
08-04-2009, 01:00 AM
Name: Aries Tashimine
Gender: Male
Age [upon death]: 27 Age [SS]: 42
Appearance: Roughly 6'3 in height and approximately 165 LBs in weight. His body is well-toned from constant calisthenics and a rigorous regimen of weight-lifting and personal training. The majority of his strength stems from sparring and starting fights with others, this does not mean he is anti-social however, this strictly means he looks to become stronger. He has short-cut black hair and razor-thin eyes with white iris's [this is particularly due to an accident he encurred as a child] this also does not mean Aries is blind, it only means he has done nothing to change the color. Both of his arms are sleeved in tattoos he got done back in the world of the living and he has a personal preference for long, flowing black/crimson garments which are his favorite colors .

[B]Personality: Overly anxious and eager. Definitely not anti-social for he was very popular back in the world of the living. He likes to think of himself as a tactician in combat, thinking several moves ahead of an opponent as his intelligence...is quite high. He will join in on conversations because he does not like to be seen as shy, however when something involves training or downtime, Aries can be at times, introverted. He has a penchant for violence, death, anarchy and disorder. He prefers these things because his mood can often be "dark" or "unorthodox" when surrounded by an atmosphere of the same. The only reason his temperament and personality are this way is due to his recent strife back in the real world and also, his character is one of a person wishing to exact his own method of vengeance and justice.

He has no qualms with working with others, in fact...he prefers it. The only thing he asks of others when fighting is that he is allowed his space as well as enough time to draw the fight out, as long as possible.

Biography: His name wasn't always Aries, it was just a "nickname" people at his college used to dub him. His real name was Michael Fulton and he was a psychology major working towards his Master's in Philosophy and Psychology. He was a 4th year student about to graduate in autumn when people started to call him that, Michael didn't think much of people like that though...he often ignored such slander and defamation. The only reason his peers had started to call him such things, was because of Michael's prior history and behavior - when provoked.

On the surface he was well liked, top of his class and adored by others in his field. Beneath the surface was a tumultuous, energetic and aggressive individual who fell into old patterns of repressing his inner feelings and emotions [which often at times came out in the worst ways imaginable]. One day he was leaving his afternoon classes, the sun was still about to set as he turned the corner and made his way home. He could be seen checking his PDA as he noticed he went down a dark alley by mistake, this did not sit well for Michael but...he didn't care either way.

Because he could see his dorm at the very end of it.

By the time he reached the end of the dark alley he found himself surrounded by shadows. They were burly and muscular fellows with tattoos, chains and piercings, obviously...the kind of people you would tend to avoid in this life. "May I help you?" I asked. They of course didn't respond to me for they were only interested in my laptop, wallet, PDA and whatever else of value I had on me. "Yeah! For starters...you can hand over everything on your person!" needless to say it didn't take long for the situation to escalate into a fight for my survival...

That day...I ended up on the losing end.

By the time I came to I saw nothing but light. My eyes were so blurry and bruised as they went in and out of focus, that I could barely make out the dim outline of a strange figure before me...it was a shinigami. My ears were only ringing as my life flowed out of me through every open wound and sore, I couldn't even make out the girl's voice who was speaking to me...but interestingly enough...it made the transition smoother. I could feel my spirit leaving me but taking on a new form as I awoke in the middle of a field. I very slowly crept up to my feet and noticed I wasn't in Kansas anymore: I was in SS! Western Rukongai [District 245] to be precise. I saw nothing but breathtaking scenary and souls? This did not compute as I looked all over my body and then back at the souls who were waving at me.

"Yeah...new guy! Your dead by the way [laughs]" she said to me as she couldn't help but laugh, I for one...was not in a laughing mood. "What...do you mean...I'm...dead? And why are there dead people waving at me? WHERE THE HELL AM I? ANSWER ME...please" I saw her walking over towards me as her right hand rest itself on my back. "I can offer to console you all you want but the reality is, your a soul which died in the living world. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, soooo...anyway...what did they call you back on Earth?"

"They, they called me Aries Tashimine..."

Without even saying goodbye I could tell she was no longer there in front of me. I felt nothing but the wind as her presence left me all alone with so many questions I wanted answered, the only thing that I could remember: The 11th Division's insignia. "I recognize that kanji! Its the number for 11...11th...division? Maybe they will have more answers for me there"

Division applying to: 11th Division

Zanpakuto: Standard asauchi for shinigami. The only modifications built into it are length: 64cm [2 ft] and the guard was forged from gold, then molded into a special symbol which has personal meaning to him. The pommel is woven from black and crimson silk also with the same symbol stitched and embedded into it. The appearance is rather rigid and jagged [much like Kenpachi's] the reason for this being is his countless hours of self training.

cp1983
08-04-2009, 01:11 AM
Sample Mission yay~*~1,091 words

The time was fastly approaching dawn. Several people had gathered near a house which had just been set ablaze. The roaring fire which had consumed a dwelling was about to take the unlife of several people, whom were trapped within. "Can someone save them! Why are you all just standing around, doing nothing? SOMEONE SAVE THEM!" a voice could be heard screaming as everyone stood by and did nothing. I had been looking for someone worthy enough to fight me when I happened upon such a tragedy.

"Do you need some assistance?" I said to a woman who was covered in ash as the flames continued on, never letting up until something was done. "Oh thank goodness!" she replied, "My family was having dinner when my eldest son accidentally tripped over the lantern...THEY'RE ALL TRAPPED INSIDE, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! PLEASE..." she was obviously hysterical, but for good reason. I could barely get close enough without being consumed by it as well, but...this was obviously not the time to discuss such things.

There was barely any breeze and since it didn't look like rain, the fire would never be quelled at this rate...I had to act fast or they would all be dead. "I'll see what I can do..." I said as I set down my zanpakuto, threw off my shihakusho and looked around for something to pry the front door open with. My heart was beating faster and faster as I located a sturdy branch to break into their home with. "Lord, please let everyone still be alive and well in there..." I said to myself as I ran full force into the front door, utilizing all my upper body strength to break my way inside. [KRAKOOOM!!] The sound the branch made as I impacted with the door, everything was burning with such intensity that it nearly overwhelmed me at first. "IS...IS EVERYONE ALRIGHT IN HERE?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, frantically searching for any signs of life [no reply].

The roof was collapsing as embers obstructed my vision. My heart only continued to speed up the more and more I searched for her family. There was so much smoke that it made breathing problematic, until...something or rather, someone...caught my attention out of my left eye. "IS SOMEONE THERE? PLEASE, JUST ANSWER ME!" I shouted again, hoping that whomever it was would hear me and answer back. "Help us! Help us quickly...father is trapped under a piece of the roof!!" I could hear, the sound of the roaring fire was also making it hard for me to do anything. "DON'T WORRY! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, PLEASE JUST TRY AND BE PATIENT, ALRIGHT!" I shouted yet again as I saw the main cause for alarm -

I figured I had about 10 minutes before their home was reduced to nothingness.

There was so much burning debris that I could barely move. Each step I tried to take was only met with disaster, each and every breath I tried to take in was met with asphyxiating smoke. My lungs were burning vigorously like I had just ran 50 miles and my eyes were closing shut and scarring from the searing heat and wooden splinters of their home falling everywhere. "Hurry! Please! *cough* *cough* I...I don't think father is going to make it...*cough*" I quickly ran as fast as I could over to where they all were trapped, time was not on my side as I looked on in horror. "HANG ON! HELP IS ON THE WAY...JUST KEEP LISTENING TO MY VOICE, ALRIGHT!" I kept shouting even though I just keep hacking and coughing, the sight of blood from within my chest being spat onto the floor.

It was only then that I could actually see clearly. The father was caught beneath a few of the rafters and his leg appeared to be broken, just my luck as I figured I had only 6 minutes left. "Don't move...keep it still" I said as I knelt down and took hold of the splintery piece of wood. I had to dig down pretty deep and use all of my strength just to budge it, the conditions were forcing my body practically into convulsions from all of the coughing. While I bent down and removed the timber from this man's right leg I noticed about 5 other people trapped as well, my luck was never good it would seem. "As soon as I get this off of him I am going to get to you, alright!" I said even louder as I hoisted it off of him, telling him to slowly wriggle himself free. "Arigatou friend, you saved my life! I am in your debt" [coughing] "You...*cough*...you can thank me later! Right now try not to move it, okay!"

I hoisted the man onto my shoulders and with very little time remaining, carelessly tossed his body out a broken window, and into the grass outside. In hindsight it was a poor decision on my part but then again, it was kind of the only decision I could make. "HURRY! IT LOOKS LIKE ITS GOING TO GIVE!!!!!" they screamed as I look up and saw a piece of burning rafter fall straight in front of me. I managed to dive out of the way in the nick of time but the flame had caught my pant leg. "Damnit! Can't a guy get a break around here, lord almighty!" The adrenaline from that encounter only fueled my desire to save them now.

I leapt over several pieces of the burning roof and grabbed hold of their hands. Many of the family was on the verge of death as I used every ounce of my strength to bring them to their feet. "DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME NOW! KEEP FIGHTING AND WE'LL PULL THROUGH THIS!!!" I shouted as I practically and literally dragged them all through the front entrance, within seconds of making it outside...the building had collapsed behind us.

"Arigatou, arigatou for saving my family!" the woman said ecstatic as she leapt into my arms and practically brought me to my knees in gratitude.

"Don't worry about it maim, next time though [laughing] call the fire department..."

Cyclonus_Zaero
08-04-2009, 06:10 AM
Alrighty! The first thing I need to point out is everything is written here at BARPG in Third Person. And you don't need to have a little story bit in your Bio is not quite what we are looking for. You need to briefly go over a sequence of events that happened in your chatacter's life. Making the following changes and I will drop another critique.

cp1983
08-04-2009, 09:45 PM
To what extent do said changes need to be made o.O

Obviously 1) Removing the brief story in my Bio 2) Which part of my character for you were not informative on, my character before SS or my character in SS?

You need to briefly go over a sequence of events that happened in your chatacter's life.

Please specify which part of my application needs this correction, unless you are basically telling me to re-do my entire sample mission.

*ugh* 3rd person...

Rin925
08-04-2009, 11:24 PM
So far, all Cy is requesting is that you change your biography to instead be a brief summary of your character's life/after life up until the point he joins a division, instead of being a small story. Anything important during those times that would make your character into the person he is, is what you should include within it.

Also, it is within the rules of the BARPG that missions (this does include sample ones) be done within 3rd Person. So if you could, please redo the sample mission to follow the rules. Missions are meant to be in third person for a reason, and that is so that they are easier for everyone to read.

I personally like to see it as the fact that when the moderators are going over your missions, they get to see the happenings from an outside view, not through your eyes. After all, we aren't you. If we read it in first person we may relate it more to our own characters....

As it is a rule for everyone to follow, we ask that you make the needed changes to your sample mission so that it is in third person if you have any desire whatsoever to be accepted back into the BARPG.

cp1983
08-04-2009, 11:31 PM
Hai, biography needs simple editing~

Gomen :p yes I do have the desire to rejoin, its just...been awhile is all haha

Thanks for elaborating Rin, I shall have a new sample mission done and changes made A.S.A.P :)

anime-niac
08-05-2009, 05:07 AM
Since you are reapplying (yes, Cy, he's been here before) you don't have to do the sample. Just you make sure to change to third person accordingly and give just a brief run-through of his life and afterlife without dialog (save such juicy details for your missions).

Cy, could you look up his old profile and give his old SLP? I'll take care of conversion to ZG, but go ahead and do it for me if you want.

cp1983
08-05-2009, 09:17 PM
Thanks Kyo :o

I only re-applied with a new character because I have no clue where my old character is or how to obtain it.

Since you are reapplying (yes, Cy, he's been here before) you don't have to do the sample. Just you make sure to change to third person accordingly and give just a brief run-through of his life and afterlife without dialog (save such juicy details for your missions).

Should I do this ^ for my old chara then?

I might as well just use my "entire" old chara then. I think that would eliminate the need to re-do so much seeing as how "all" was officially approved once before by Blackheartz.

=/

anime-niac
08-06-2009, 09:38 PM
Here's your old character profile:
http://www.bleachanime.org/forums/showthread.php?t=17078

You've accumulated a total of 1340 SLP in the old system. After the revamp you've gained 870 ZG from your Week 48 Mission. In total, you now have 2545 ZG.

I'm giving you two choices here: You can either use this new, better looking character or your old one. If you choose to use your old one you have some profile updating to do, since we ask that you post an update on your stats regularly and post them in your profile, not just in the stat reporting thread.

If you choose to use this profile instead of your old one you just need to do a little more tweaking as we mentioned above.

Take your pick.

cp1983
08-06-2009, 09:51 PM
Week 48

^

Wow lol, has been awhile. As much as I hate letting all of that accumulated ZG go to waste I will just perform the changes on my new character. Can someone post after this reply, arigatou. I am going to bang out a better sample mission with edited bio then.

:)

anime-niac
08-06-2009, 10:39 PM
You don't need to make another sample mission, and you can keep your ZG

cp1983
08-10-2009, 07:52 PM
Name: Aries Tashimine
Gender: Male
Age [upon death]: 27 Age [SS]: 42
Appearance: Roughly 6'3 in height and approximately 165 LBs in weight. His body is well-toned from constant calisthenics and a rigorous regimen of weight-lifting and personal training. The majority of his strength stems from sparring and starting fights with others, this does not mean he is anti-social however, this strictly means he looks to become stronger. He has short-cut black hair and razor-thin eyes with white iris's [this is particularly due to an accident he encurred as a child] this also does not mean Aries is blind, it only means he has done nothing to change the color. Both of his arms are sleeved in tattoos he got done back in the world of the living and he has a personal preference for long, flowing black/crimson garments which are his favorite colors .

[B]Personality: Overly anxious and eager. Definitely not anti-social for he was very popular back in the world of the living. He likes to think of himself as a tactician in combat, thinking several moves ahead of an opponent as his intelligence...is quite high. He will join in on conversations because he does not like to be seen as shy, however when something involves training or downtime, Aries can be at times, introverted. He has a penchant for violence, death, anarchy and disorder. He prefers these things because his mood can often be "dark" or "unorthodox" when surrounded by an atmosphere of the same. The only reason his temperament and personality are this way is due to his recent strife back in the real world and also, his character is one of a person wishing to exact his own method of vengeance and justice.

He has no qualms with working with others, in fact...he prefers it. The only thing he asks of others when fighting is that he is allowed his space as well as enough time to draw the fight out, as long as possible.

Biography: His name wasn't always Aries, it was just a "nickname" people at his college used to dub him. His real name was Michael Fulton and he was a psychology major working towards his Master's in Philosophy and Psychology. He was a 4th year student about to graduate in autumn when people started to call him that, Michael didn't think much of people like that though...he often ignored such slander and defamation. The only reason his peers had started to call him such things, was because of Michael's prior history and behavior - when provoked.

On the surface he was well liked, top of his class and adored by others in his field. Beneath the surface was a tumultuous, energetic and aggressive individual who fell into old patterns of repressing his inner feelings and emotions [which often at times came out in the worst ways imaginable]. One day he was leaving his afternoon classes, the sun was still about to set as he turned the corner and made his way home. He could be seen checking his PDA as he noticed he went down a dark alley by mistake, this did not sit well for Michael but...he didn't care either way. With his luck being what it was his trip home met with certain disaster, for his life would be taken. It was from that moment he found himself in SS, surrounded by souls [one in particular with the kanji for 11 on a uniform].

Division applying to: 11th Division

Zanpakuto: Standard asauchi for shinigami. The only modifications built into it are length: 64cm [2 ft] and the guard was forged from gold, then molded into a special symbol which has personal meaning to him. The pommel is woven from black and crimson silk also with the same symbol stitched and embedded into it. The appearance is rather rigid and jagged [much like Kenpachi's] the reason for this being is his countless hours of self training.

How's this?

I edited my biography, shortened it and closed it better.

Cyclonus_Zaero
08-10-2009, 08:59 PM
Looks good post a profile up in Junior Ranking and you can start posting missions.