[Application] Vincent Valen <7th Division>

[Uryu72]

Name: Vincent Valen
Gender: Male
Age: 15 (Death), 27 (Soul Society)

Appearance:
Height: 5 Ft, 10 inches (Yeah I’m not good at centimeter measurements xD)
Weight: 215 pounds (Not good at kg either…..)

With crimson red eyes and long black hair, Vincent is a rather intimidating guy to look at. His shinigami outfit is the basic one, however there are no sleeves. His black hair does not flow straight down his back; it stops at his chest level. It also falls into his eyes, giving him a depressed look. Many people that see him have repeatedly claimed he looks like a vampire. His skin however is a basic tone, not too white or dark. As far as casual clothing goes, he doesn’t exactly fit the word “casual”.

Personality:
He tends to stay relatively calm, even in life or death situations. However his personality changes when there are others in danger, especially those that can’t defend themselves. He is willing to take a hit to prevent the loss of a life. As far as interaction goes, his commanding voice is the voice of reasoning when in arguments or discussion. Although he’ll fight to protect those that are in danger, he knows when there is a battle that cannot be won. If so he will make sure that everyone gets out alive.

Biography:
Vincent grew up in the most lethal district;Zaraki: District 103. Even at a young age he intimidated those that tried to pick a fight. He is incredibly strong in his fist, even though he does not look muscular. However he prefers to avoid fights and even then, he does not kill those that he defeats. Isolated and alone, he lives on the very border of the district in a decrepit area. He takes care of himself, having to resort to taking food when it is necessary. Since he takes food from bloodthirsty vandals, he feels no guilt out of it. He can completely recall how he died, and seeks to become a Soul Reaper and vanquish as many hollows as he can. A memento of his death is a scar that now runs the length of his back from left shoulder to the lower right side of his back. He created a makeshift bed out of various clothing and fabric he finds throughout the district, although he makes sure to sleep with one eye open, for good reasons.

Division Applying To:
7th Division

Zanpakuto:
His zanpakuto is the basic katana of a soul reaper (26 inches in length) with a few modifications. The grip is reinforced steel as while training, Vincent actually left finger indentations from gripping the original so hard. The end of the sword also has a black colored tassel dangling from it. His fighting style changed as he went through the academy. Rather than wield his katana, he prefers to use his fists, feet, and other parts of his body to pummel his opponents. He would only use a weapon if he didn’t have any other option. While fighting he tends to target the limbs of his opponents, as he seeks to simply incapacitate rather than kill them. As such, he avoids using lethal techniques.
(Shikai and Bankai I have in mind but that will have to wait obviously.)

[anime-niac]

Rather than using a script form, please rewrite your sample mission from a third person narrative perspective. While a script form is easy, we want to see some color to your work, from the little details of each movement to the conflict within your character. Third person is the BARPG standard, and for the sake of the graders and any other potential readers we want you to write this way. We're not asking you to be perfect, but we want to be able to see what your character sees without getting too personal with him/her.

For appearance we're not asking for any specific unit of measurement. Besides that tidbit your appearance, personality, and bio are well written. You should write like this for your sample. (We like color.)

Your zanpakuto field should also describe your fighting style. Is he a hand-to-hand fighter or a swordsman? What sort of techniques and behaviors does he incorporate when he fights?

[Uryu72]

Sample Mission:
It was getting harder and harder for Vincent to sleep, as flashbacks to his death frequently plague his dreams. Simple flashes from the people he was attempting to save to the fatal wound on his back. He can still remember their faces….

On this particular night he awoke to a scream, a female one for that matter.

“What the hell is a woman doing in the Zaraki district. She’s not really giving me options...Vincent feels the scar on his back with his left arm and decides “Ah screw it.”

He gets up and leaves.He ran quietly from side to side through the streets, ignoring vandals and such who fought each other all the time, until he found the source of his scream. A woman, early 20’s or so, surrounded by 7 men against a wall.

“Please don’t hurt me, I simply got lost!” said the frightened woman.

“Shut it” shouted the 1st thug. “You think we care whether or not you got lost? The fact is you’re here, and now we can enjoy ourselves, right boys?”

The other thugs yell in agreement and they begin to close in, a hungry look on their faces.

Still hiding in the shadows, Vincent is at odds about what to do.

“Okay Vincent think through your options”, he thought to himself.

“You can fight with the odds against you and save the girl, or you can leave her to her fate… at that moment another flashback of his death occurred, a blood stained wall, a screaming girl, the claws of the monster as it swings into his back.

He snaps back into reality. “Yeah I don’t need any more nightmares thank you”. “Great…”

The first thug attempts to move in on the woman when he is suddenly kicked straight in the face. The others are surprised as he quickly drops to the ground holding his face. Several teeth lay on the ground. Vincent then appears in front of him. His face appears calm but his eyes show anger.

“So a lady shows up in the most lethal district and you can’t do her the common courtesy of seeing her out? You make me sick” said Vincent.

The woman seems surprised that someone actually came to help her.

“Who…who are you” she questions.

“I don’t think that’s important right now. Why don’t you just let me kick these guys’ asses and I’ll tell you later.” responds Vincent.

The 2nd thug, shaken by the fall of his comrade, but still laced with rage exclaims “You little punk, you think you can take all of us at once?”.

Vincent glares at the man, almost as if he’s looking into his soul.

“Well let me think, you look like crap, you’re in a gang because you fear being alone…yeah I think I can beat you just fine” he responds rather sarcastically.

The 2nd thug attempts a bunch but hits air. He looks around and is surprised to see that Vincent is now standing on the back of the 1st thug.
His arms crossed.

Vincent retorts “Man you are slow… and you’re supposed to beat me?”

Vincent disappears and then reappears behind the 2nd thug and quickly aims a kick to his leg. A loud crack is heard and the thug goes down.

The 3rd and 4th thugs try for an attack from both sides, but Vincent quickly vanishes again, and the 2 end up punching each other in the face. Vincent reappears and kicks both of them across their faces, knocking them out cold.

The 5th thug goes for the woman and pulls out knife, attempting to stab her. She screams and Vincent quickly turns to here. As the knife is about reach her, the thug is stopped all of a sudden, as Vincent has grabbed his wrist. With sheer strength, Vincent forces the thug’s knife into his other arm. The thug falls to the ground as well, clutching the knife handle.

The 6th and 7th thugs look at the carnage so far and try to run. Vincent shows up again in front of them

“What you didn’t think I was going to forget you two now did you?”

He vanishes again. A second later he has one of them grabbed by the leg, hanging upside-down. Swinging him like a bat he slams him into the last thug with so much force they are propelled through the wall.

[Uryu72]

All the thugs lay on the ground groaning and in pain. The woman is still in the same spot simply amazed at what she just saw. As Vincent walks toward her she actually tries to back up.

“I just saved your life, I’d think you would appreciate it. I’m not like them.” Reaching his hand out he calmly says “Come on, I have some food back at my place”.

She seems hesitant at first but decides to take his hand.

“You’re not injured, are you?” asked Vincent.“No, I’m…fine. Really” replies the woman. “What about them?” she says, as she points to the fallen thugs.

Vincent glances and replies “They’re down and out, I don’t think they’re getting back up anytime soon. Even then they won’t bother following.”

Carrying her in his arms, Vincent takes her back to his place. As he does, Aria notices the area clearly, broken-down building, no food stands, no children in the street, just a gloomy and violent district. They arrive at a two-story building with most of the roof gone. There is no front door, and the color is a decadent brown.

“So this is your home? It looks…decent” says the woman.

“You don’t have to be kind, it looks like crap, I know that” replies Vincent. “But compared to the other places in this area, this home is a palace. So are you hungry? I’ve got some bread and water. It’s not much, but-”

“It’s just fine thank you,” says the woman. As they begin to eat and drink, she asks "So why is a guy like you living in a district like this?”

“You’re one to talk. What were you doing here to begin with? What’s your name anyway?” Vincent asks, firing off several questions.

“My name is Aria, and as I said to those thugs, I got lost” replies the woman.

“You got lost and somehow ended up in the Zaraki district? Excuse me if I find that hard to believe” says Vincent. “You don’t look like someone who lives in the Rukongai either.”

Aria remains quiet for a few seconds, but her expression tells Vincent all he need to know.

“Yeah I guessed as much. You live in the Kurenai Seireitei don’t you?” says Vincent with a smirk on his face.

Aria seems almost embarrassed as she replies “Yes.”

Vincent grunts and replies “Yeah I figured that much just from looking at you. It’s also pretty obvious you’re not a Soul Reaper either, since a Soul Reaper would know the Rukongai by heart, they’re usually sent to patrol it. So you must come from a noble family. Am I right?”

Aria is astounded by how fast he figured it out. She had met this man only a few minutes ago and he figured her out immediately. “I…you’re very…analytical…” she says quietly.

Getting to his feet, Vincent responds “I’m just good at reading people is all. “So you feel like heading home now or what?”

Aria looks up lightning fast, shocked that he said that. “How could I possibly get back in to the Seireitei?” she exclaims.

Vincent shrugs and asks “Depends, how did you get out in the first place?”

Aria blushes and nervously replies “I…bribed one of the gate guardians…”

Vincent takes a minute to think. He then responds “Hmm…pretty safe to say that won’t work twice. Guess we’re going with my method then.”

“Which is?” Aria asks, dreading his answer.

Vincent grins “I sneak you back in.” he says.

“W-what? How could you even do that?” says a surprised Aria. She had been only able to get through from bribes. Even then it was only because she was a noble that the gate guardian had accepted proposal. How was this man, a man from the Rukongai, going to get into the Seireitei?

Vincent nods and continues “I studied the 4 gates into the Seireitei, and the barrier surrounding it. The only thing currently that could break through it is something or someone with high spirit energy. Luckily for you, you’re looking at one.”

“But what about me?, clearly I don’t have the energy required” asked Aria. This plan already sounded suicidal.

“I’m sure once we’re there I can get you in” explains Vincent. “Odds are my spiritual pressure will be so high, yours won’t even matter. Of course there’s a risk, once I break you through the barrier, the Soul Reapers will detect a break in it, and sends squads there immediately”

“Are you sure this will work?” asked Aria

Vincent’s facial expression changes to a serious look as he says “Well its that or you’ll get found by your family and be punished for breaking the law while I will most likely be executed for breaking in to the Seireitei. This has to happen quickly. In and out, understand?”

“Yes…” replies a grim-looking Aria


Vincent reaches out for her hand and says “Very well then let’s go.”

Vincent escorts Aria through the districts all the way back to district. They reach the gate to the Seireitei. Ironically the gate guardian that had let Aria through was now snoozing, something he shouldn’t be doing while on duty.

Vincent seems to be preparing for something as Aria looks at the height of the wall.“So now what, how can you possibly reach that high over the gate?” asked Aria.

Vincent then wraps his arm around her waist

He smiles and replies “Like this.” He bends his knees down and then jumps high above the gate. He prepares to go through the barrier

Aria is terrified at this height and begs “Wait please, I can’t do this.”

Vincent, seeing her face, is struck by another flashback, of a girl in an alleyway screaming.

He snaps back to reality again and replies “Well we’re already up here, no turning back now!”

He breaks through the barrier, dashing through while carrying Aria and they land on the roof of a building, inside the Seireitei. The impact actually sends cracks through the roof.

As Aria rises from the ground she is hysterical, breathing rather quickly, as she has defied and broken so many of the rules of the Soul Society.

On the verge of tears she exclaims“What did we just, oh what did we just do, please tell me we didn’t just do what I think we did!”

Vincent, who is also getting up from the landing replies “Hate to tell you miss, but we did…time for me to go back, I can already sense them coming.”

As he prepares to jump again, he stops as he sees the view of the Seireitei from the inside. The sun is just rising, giving the area a calming but still epic look,

In awe he says “Wow… I didn’t think it would look so…grand…”

Aria has somewhat recovered from her hysteria. Her breathing has slowed down and she seems calm again.

She stands next to him and replies “Maybe you’ll step inside for real one day. But for now I guess all I can say is thank you.”

Vincent shakes his head as he replies “You don’t need to thank me, just don’t ever stray that far into the Rukongai again.” He leaps into the air again

Aria suddenly remembers that she never heard his name. She runs to the edge of the building and yells “Wait! you said you would tell me your name…I never got it.”

Vincent turns in mid-air as he passes through the barrier again and shouts “My name is Vincent Valen. Remember it…for it will be heard all throughout the Seireitei one day!”. As he declares it, his voice fades as he descends on the other side of the gates.

[anime-niac]

Just to let you know, you can edit your original post to update your application accordingly, as well as link your sample to specific posts in this thread to keep it clean and relatively easy to track.

Overall, it looks better, but one major problem exists: paragraphing. Don't mean to sound like an english teacher (though I do get that a lot ._.) You need to paragraph your work appropriately. It's hard to tell where one starts and one ends.

[Uryu72]

Just to let you know, you can edit your original post to update your application accordingly, as well as link your sample to specific posts in this thread to keep it clean and relatively easy to track.

Overall, it looks better, but one major problem exists: paragraphing. Don't mean to sound like an english teacher (though I do get that a lot ._.) You need to paragraph your work appropriately. It's hard to tell where one starts and one ends.

So should I be dividing the paragraphs when each of the characters speak? Or is there something more specific? Any help is appreciated :)

[anime-niac]

You can do it by speech if you wish, just as long as it's more organized.

http://www.bleachanime.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1904652&postcount=2

The link above is a sample mission from a previously accepted applicant. You may use this, as well as any others' samples and missions in the Alley as guidelines.